Always Be Waiting
by idealskeptic
Summary: When the war is over, Annie is lost. She doesn't feel drawn toward home, not yet. There's business yet to do in the Capitol and she's determined to see it through even if no one understands her at all. Finnick was her world. Finding him, any bit of him after what happened in the sewer consumes her. And that's okay. Its what she needs to do and to be. post-Mockingjay. AU. Odesta.
1. An Awfully Big Adventure

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Thanks for stopping in to take a look at my new Odesta story. It's post-Mockingjay and, as you can probably guess by the "Odesta" thing, it's going to be a little AU. Or a lot. Still set in Panem, post-Hunger Games so all that is canon. I think everything will be well explained as I go but please, please leave a review and ask any questions you have! I hope you like it._

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><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 1: An Awfully Big Adventure**

"Annie? Annie, are you awake? You asked me to make sure you were up."

I exhale slowly and stare at the bright white ceiling above my head. I don't think I went to sleep last night. She probably doesn't know that, even though she didn't sleep either. When I can't sleep, I lie perfectly still. When she can't sleep, she fidgets and paces. I heard her. I could've left the bedroom she gave me in her apartment and we could've been awake together but I just wanted to lie still and think. There's so much to think about.

I can't think about most of those things now, though, so I get up and adjust the hem of my bright white tunic. I got dressed hours ago. White tunic, white pants, white shoes. The uniform of medical assistants at the many hospitals around the Capitol still treating the wounded soldiers and civilians from the war. I brush my red hair again and knot it into a bun at the back of my head as I think about the thing I demanded permission to do. Nobody thinks I should be working in hospitals. Everyone thinks I'll break down and end up in a hospital.

I suppose it's possible.

"Annie?"

I start to say something but my throat catches. I clear it and shake my head. "I'll be right out. I just need to brush my teeth."

It's so strange that I don't mind living in Effie Trinket's apartment in the Capitol. She offered the space when I refused to stay in the President's Mansion, even though all the other victors except Peeta are staying there, and no one wanted me to stay with any of the soldiers or on my own. Effie is very nice. I'd only spoken to her two or three times in District 13 but I think she understands me in a way no one else really does. A way Mags would if she were here. But she's not.

It was Effie who understood my demand, at least understood it enough to convince Haymitch to make Plutarch and President Paylor let me do this. President Paylor probably doesn't care what I do and Plutarch probably wants to film me doing it. He's got slim pickings in terms of happy, hopeful victors to film since Peeta's in treatment and Katniss' trial hasn't started yet. Finnick's widow comforting wounded people would probably make great television.

I think it was Effie who managed to get a promise from Plutarch that I never be filmed. I have my reasons for not wanting to be filmed. Effie knows these reasons but she got Haymitch on my side without even telling him my reasons.

With my teeth brushed, I step out of the bedroom and blink against the brightness of the morning sun that comes through the floor to ceiling windows on the east side of the apartment. "Thank you, Effie," I say in whisper, "for checking on me."

She forces her face into a smile. "Of course, dear. It feels good to get back to looking after someone. Now, you remember that you're supposed to testify at Katniss' trial this afternoon, right? Two o'clock at the Palace of Justice."

I have no idea where that is. "Could you come and get me?" She told me to ask her for anything I needed so I do. "I don't know where the Palace of Justice is from where I'll be." I turn around and look at the schedule I was given for my first official day of work after a few days training. "I'll be at the Lavinia Bosch Medical Ministry."

"Of course I will come and get you. That hospital isn't far from the Palace of Justice at all. I told Haymitch I'll be in the courtroom for the morning testimony. I'll leave at the lunch break to come and get you." She lifts a black and white houndstooth coat off a hook by the door and holds it out to me. "It's cold today but I think this coat should fit you just fine. Do you need me to help you get to work?"

I put on her coat and button it up. "No, thank you. I'll see you a little while before two o'clock." I can't delay going any more or I might never leave. I wave my fingers at her in a sort of farewell and step into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind me. I take a deep breath and walk to the elevator. Effie's building got complete power back just a few days ago and it's a good thing because she lives on the fifteenth floor walking up to her apartment is not easy with all those stairs. When I get outside, it is cold and the streets are full of uniformed people. Worried that someone will demand to know why I'm wandering around, I push the sleeve of the coat up enough that anyone can see the identification bracelet on my wrist that can be scanned if someone needs to know who I am.

No one stops me and I don't need to show my bracelet until I get to the Lavinia Bosch Medical Ministry. A supervisor greets me at the door and takes me to a room filled with cubbyholes where I can store my things. She tells me her name is Sexta and explains that this isn't as much a hospital as it is a care facility. It's called a ministry because the patients here have little hope of recovery. The staff is tasked with keeping them free from pain and treating wounds and illnesses as best as they can. If a family member of a patient comes and asks for the sustaining treatments to be stopped, to let the patient die, they do it. If no family comes, nature takes it's course. Sexta tells me that I shouldn't get too attached to anyone because they probably won't live long.

She doesn't know that I know all of this already.

I did my research, with Pollux's help, and I know that the Lavinia Bosch Medical Ministry is the place I need to be. Pollux is the only person besides Effie who has any idea what I'm doing and I'm going to try to help him at the same time. This is the place I need to be if what I'm looking for exists in the world.

I'll surprise them all and I won't so much as blink while I work here.

I spend the first hours of my first day giving pureed food to the patients who can take semi-solid food. There are Peacekeepers, citizens of the Capitol, rebel soldiers, and injured citizens of the other districts all mixed in together - fifty in total. The hospital is six stories tall. The ten patients on the top floor are the most hopeless cases and the ten on the second floor, just above the rooms used by everyone, are the ones who might get to leave one day if fate is firmly on their sides. The lowest floor of patients eats soft food, boiled vegetables and things. The highest floor is fed through tubes in their stomachs. I spend my time with the middle floors.

I don't like what I see. The men, women, and even a few children in the beds are pale, quiet, and only do things that they're told to do. If this is living without pain, I don't know that it's worth it. There has to be something more that can be done for the people, even if they are just waiting to die. I think about this while I feed pureed beets to an Avox who can't move either of his arms and is in the middle of spectrum and I resolve to ask both Pollux and Effie for help, as soon as I come up with an idea. I know it'll seem like I'm trying to take over and change things, but I'm not. I'm just trying to do something useful. And maybe I could be successful at getting something Sexta and her co-workers can't because I'm a victor and I know Plutarch so well.

When Sexta comes to tell me it's time for lunch she knows I have to leave for a few hours so she brings me a bagel that I eat while standing in a deserted corner of the hallway. She tells me then that if I come back this evening, she'll have me help give bed baths to some of the patients on the top floor if I'm willing to be near them.

"When," I correct her. "I told you I'll come back and I will." I don't know if I can see the top floor patients yet, but I want to be strong enough to do that. Even if I can't do it today, I'm sure they'll have other work that I can do."

"Of course," she says, smiling in a way that says she doesn't quite believe me. "When you come back this evening, we'll see about the bed baths. If it's too soon for that, you can help the second floor with their supper."

I choke down a few more bites of bagel and toss a third of it into the closest trash can. I don't really know what else to say to Sexta so I go to get my coat and I head outside to meet Effie. Her face looks grim when she arrives but I don't expect Katniss' trial to be easy. Plutarch had Fulvia meet with me to go over what I'll be asked but I don't really like her so I didn't pay as much attention as I should have when she spoke to me. I have no idea what I'm walking in to but I don't think it really matters. I'll answer the questions as best I can and I'll do what I want to do afterward.

At two o'clock on the dot I find myself sitting at the front of mostly full courtroom. Effie told me they hadn't been sure about letting the public in but they were worried people would doubt the trial if there weren't representatives from each district there. I see the District 4 rebel commander sitting with the other commanders. He's the only boy I ever kissed aside from the man I fell in love with. I'm glad he survived this.

"Miss Cresta," a man I think must be from District 10, because he's got a tattoo of steer horns on his bare forearm - I don't know why he's questioning me but I see Effie nod at me. "Miss Cresta, I asked if you were aware of any plot to assassinate Alma Coin at any point during or after the rebellion?"

"Mrs. Odair."

He looks up from his papers and stares at me. "I'm sorry?"

"I'm not Miss Cresta anymore." I clear my throat and lift my chin a little. I realize I don't know if Plutarch announced that Finnick and I were married but I remember them filming the wedding so maybe it isn't news. Maybe this man just didn't pay attention or doesn't care. "I'm Mrs. Odair or I'm Annie. And no, there was no plot to assassinate Alma Coin."

"To your knowledge?"

I shake my head. "No. I wasn't part of a plot and there was no plot."

He leans forward, gray eyes fixed on me. "How can you be so sure, Mrs. Odair? You weren't sent to the Capitol with Squad 451 or any other squad."

"Fine." I don't like him but I know he'll stop asking me questions sooner if I make it simple. "There was no plot when Squad 451 left District 13. If that changed when they got here, I wouldn't know."

"Finnick Odair, your husband, he's the one you're using as a source with your statement that it was not a premeditated plot, correct?"

I don't want to talk about him. I know I have to talk about him. I don't want to cry in front of all these people, not ever again. "F-f-f… he told me that they were just supposed to be filmed for propos. He told me they were supposed to stay safe so he and Katniss would look good on television." I take a deep, shaky breath and let my fingers play with the thin rope in the pocket of Effie's coat, knotting and unknotting it over and over again. "But he told me he knew Katniss was going to try and be the one to kill President Snow. F-f-f… he said he was going with her. He told me that Commander Boggs told him and Gale Hawthorne that he knew what Katniss was doing and that it was his mission too. They were all going after President Snow. That's all F-f-f… that's all he told me."

The District 10 man glances at President Paylor, and I only just realize she's sitting behind a desk on a platform beside the chair where I am. I think its President Paylor anyway. "Mrs. Odair," he says, taking two steps toward me, "do you believe you would have been told if there was a plot to assassinate both President Snow and President Coin?"

"Yes." I can answer that with absolutely certainty. I should mention his name in my answer but I know I won't be able to so I know I'll just use pronouns. "Yes. He told me he didn't trust President Coin but that Haymitch Abernathy said it was best to trust her, and he trusted Haymitch. He would have told me if there was more."

He whispers to President Paylor and then to another man, this one wears the District 13 gray colors, but it's still the same man who speaks to me. "Why do you think, Mrs. Odair, that Katniss Everdeen sent her arrow into President Coin's chest instead of President Snow's? Do you believe she had the interests of Panem at heart?"

I bite my bottom lip so hard I taste blood. That brings me back to the moment I need to be in. "Yeah. Yes, she had the interests of Panem at heart." There are more important things to say and I don't care if I'm not supposed to say them. "President Coin sent Peeta to Squad 451 knowing that Peeta was trained to kill Katniss. President Coin approved Primrose Everdeen being sent with the medics to the Capitol even though she was too young to even be called Soldier Everdeen according to District 13 laws. President Coin is the one who had working hovercrafts, hovercrafts that dropped the bombs that killed Primrose and all the others and almost killed Katniss and Peeta. President Coin asked us victors to vote on holding a final Hunger Games with children of the Capitol in the arena. The vote was four to three, that's why Katniss got the arrow. Katniss had every reason to do what she did and if you hold anyone accountable, it should be the other three who voted for a final games too." Johanna is going to kill me if she gets in trouble for her vote. Let her. I take a deep breath and glance at President Paylor.

She watches me with warm brown eyes that look old beyond her years and then she speaks for the first time. "Knowing that the action must be punished in some way, Annie, what do you think would be an appropriate punishment for Katniss Everdeen?"

I blink slowly, still knotting the rope in my pocket. I don't know if it'll do any good but I have to try. The kindest thing they could do would be to kill her but they won't kill her. She will suffer every day of the rest of her life for the things that have happened to her. I know it. The least I can do is try to help her get a fighting chance. "Send her home," I say, clearing my throat so I can say it stronger. "Send her to District 12 and ban her from travel, especially to the Capitol, for a period of time."

I think President Paylor might wink at me. Maybe she understand what I'm trying to do, how I'm trying to help Katniss have a chance at getting better by giving her banning her from what she'd never do anyway. Maybe President Paylor wants this for her too.

Maybe Katniss can be okay one day.


	2. Faith, and Trust, and Pixie Dust

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Hi people! So glad you liked chapter one enough to be here, ready to read chapter 2!_

_I just wanted to say that my head-casting is absolutely Stef Dawson for Annie. I watched an interview she did about Finnick and Annie and I just had to write this story. And no, I haven't seen Mockingjay. Yet!_

_Enjoy! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

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><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 2: Faith, and Trust, and Pixie Dust**

Haymitch stops me as I leave the Palace of Justice, pulling me into a corner where no one can see us. "Thank you," he says, rubbing his hand over his face. "Thank you for what you said for her."

I nod once. "I might've gotten you and Johanna and Enobaria in trouble."

He shakes his head. "No, no one will pay attention to that. You're right, though, especially about me. I voted the way I did because I knew what she was going to do with that arrow. I said so already when I testified."

That makes me feel a little better. "How is Katniss?"

Eyes closed, he shakes his head. "Not good."

"Peeta?"

He looks a little better and opens his eyes. "He's doing pretty good. He'd like to see you, if you're up for it. Ask Effie, she'll take you there."

I promise to go see him because I do miss him. He'd understand what I'm doing. Maybe I'll even tell him what I'm doing. I shake my head and try to smile at him. "Thank you, Haymitch, for helping me get permission to work as a medical assistant. I know you don't understand why I want to or maybe you're not sure I can or should. But I do want to, I can, and I will. So thank you."

He nods slowly. "You're welcome, Annie. If there's anything else I can do for you, just say the word."

I like that he left it at that and I can smile a little easier. "I will. Mags and Finnick both told me that if I was ever without them, I should go to you. So I will."

I'm surprised when he gives me a sudden, slightly awkward hug but I give one right back. He goes back into the Palace of Justice then, leaving Effie to find me and walk me back to the hospital. I feel stronger for what I said in the courtroom and I want to get back to work. I'm needed there. Maybe I can do some good there, even if my reason for being there turns out to be the pipe dream everyone would say it was if I told them.

Sexta seems surprised to see me but she accepts the fact that I am there with grace and gratitude. Effie offers her help as well and she's put to work helping change the sheets from the bottom floor up. Sexta offers me to do that too but I remind her of her earlier promise that I help with bed baths for the top floor people, and she nods in agreement.

I work with her. We wash every part of battered bodies that we can without doing them further harm. There are seven that we wash and most of them don't seem to notice what we do to them. I think they'd like knowing that we're not leaving them in dirt and that we're trying to give them dignity even we see them at their weakest. "Aren't there three more?" I ask as I wring the cloths out over the sink for the seventh time.

She nods as she runs her hands under hot water and scrubs them with soap. "Ten on each floor, yes. Two of them had accidents while you were gone so they got cleaned up earlier. The last one can't be washed."

I look up from the rag, sort of at her but sort of past her. "She can't be washed at all?"

"He." Sexta shakes her head without looking at me. "No, he can't. His wounds are too bad. He's got to be in a hyperbaric chamber. If they can get the infection out of his blood, then maybe he'd be upgraded to something that we could wash. But, Annie, they don't think he'll live that long."

I see a tube shaped thing in the room across the hall. "Is that it? Is that the hyperbaric chamber?"

"Yes," she says. "You can't see much unless you're with a doctor because the treated oxygen that's pumped in makes the glass fog up."

I walk across the hall without asking if it's allowed. I want to see it, even if I can't see it. She's right, though, the glass is fogged and it's hard to see much more than the shape of a body inside of it. "What's his name?" I know Sexta followed me so I ask the question aloud. "Does he have family?"

"We don't know his name," she says quietly, standing behind me. "He didn't have anything but the remnants of a rebel uniform when he was brought in. DNA could be tested if he didn't have to be in the chamber. We tried to take him out once to get a sample but he went into cardiac arrest."

I put my hand on the glass and sigh. The poor man.

My shift for the day is over then so I collect my coat and head back out into the cold streets of the Capitol. Effie appears beside me and offers to walk me home but I know she has a meeting of some sort with Haymitch so I politely decline the offer. I'm not going home anyway. I've got two people to see and I know how to find them both. I suppose getting home from them could be tricky but I'll manage.

I've got no one left in my life now. I have to learn to manage on my own.

Pollux meets me in front of a fountain placed in the center of a roundabout. The statue in the fountain was a carved symbol of Panem but there are mockingjays painted all over it now, better late than never, I suppose. He holds out a pad of paper when I cross to stand beside him. He's written to ask me how terrible work was.

"Testifying at Katniss' trial was worse," I admit before I even realize what I'm saying. "The hospital was sad. It's a place of lost causes. They don't really expect anyone there to survive long."

He scribbles another message on the page - _What do you do for them?_

"The woman who trained me said the goal is to keep them free from pain, as healthy as possible, and in as much dignity as we can." I shrug and stare at the shiny purple brinks that I'm standing on. I'm talking more to an Avox than I've talked to anyone since the war ended. It's strange but it's right. "I don't know what I can do besides that. They need something. I don't know what. It's good that they're doing what they're doing but the people just lie there in silence."

_Music? In the sewers, we only kept our sanity because we were allowed music. They played it on speakers a few times but mostly we just sung… hummed… made whatever noise we could without our tongues. It was good._

Music. I like the idea very much. I think the patients at the hospital would like it too. I'll talk to Sexta about it tomorrow. If she can't help me arrange it, I'll go to Effie and Plutarch. That's the easy part of my conversation with Pollux. The hard part is best just blurted out. "I didn't find anything."

He nods slowly in understanding and puts the pen to the paper again. _We probably won't find anything, you know. I still say there's nothing wrong with looking, I still say we have to keep looking. I still say I'm not done looking._

I smile sadly at his words and nod. "I don't care if it's wrong to look or not, I'm going to keep looking." Pollux has the harder job between the two of us. I will look in hospitals for things I know I'll never find but he's volunteered to help catalog the debris that was left behind in the streets and in the sewers. He's looking for pieces, pieces of something that someone once held. Maybe both our jobs are equally as hard. I shake my head when I realize I've let my mind wander. "I'm going to see Peeta now, would you like to come with me?"

_I would but I can't. I found two men who worked in the sewers with me and we're getting together for a drink to celebrate being alive._

I can sense the happiness in his words at having found his friends and I hug him. He's surprised, but he hugs me back. We promise to meet at the same place tomorrow and then we go our separate ways. The streets of the Capitol are busy at night and it's a little bit frightening to be walking alone. No one really seems to notice me. It might be partially due to Effie's coat, which is subdued as Capitol things go but very much fits in with the strange combination of soldiers, district people, and Capitol citizens in the streets. I keep my head down and hope I'm not getting lost.

I don't get lost.

I walk into the building and ask the receptionist if I can see Peeta Mellark. She seems skeptical of my chances and demands to see my identification. Even my bracelet doesn't convince her. Lucky for me, I suppose you could say, Effie planned for this possible problem and I pass the pink haired woman a phone number. "Call Plutarch Heavensbee. He'll tell you that I am Annie Cresta and that I am allowed to visit Peeta Mellark."

She's properly flustered and doesn't call Plutarch. She pushes a button on her desk instead and asks for Dr. Aurelius, which is exactly what Effie predicted someone would do. Dr. Aurelius orders her to let me come to the eighth floor immediately and asks that I stop and see him before I leave.

I think I will. I like Dr. Aurelius, despite Johanna trying very hard to convince me that I should hate him, because he makes me feel calm and he's teaching me how to cope with my new world. He's also never told me to stop hanging around with Johanna, even though he knows what she says about him, and he even told me to keep her close because friends are too easily lost.

But first, Peeta.

I don't have to ask for more helping finding his room because he's waiting outside the elevator for me - someone must have told him I was coming - and he hugs me. From the way he hugs me, I don't think he's had many visitors lately. "I hope you don't mind me just showing up," I say when he lets go of me and leads me into his room. "I saw Haymitch at Katniss' trial and asked if I could see you so I came after work."

"Of course not." He smiles, and I see that the burn scars above his eye are almost all gone. It's good that they're still treating his body while they're treating his mind. "Work? Where do you work?"

"The Lavinia Bosch Medical Ministry." I bite my lip to hide a smile when he looks startled. "It's a hospital where they're treating people who were injured in the war and the people don't really have much chance of surviving very much longer. At least that's what they tell me."

He sits on the edge of his bed and motions for me to sit on the chair in the room but I sit beside him instead-there's no reason he should feel like a patient all the time. He looks at me intently and sighs. "Why do you work there?"

I stick my hand in my pocket and start making knots with the rope I kept there. "I don't know if I can say." It's a terrible answer.

"I won't tell anyone, Annie, if it's a secret."

I know he won't tell anyone and maybe it would be right to tell someone the whole story. Maybe I'd feel just a little bit better. And if anyone will understand why I'm doing what I'm doing, it will be Peeta. He would do the same thing if he were me. "It's not really a secret," I tell him in a whisper, "it's just that I'm afraid people will call me crazy and tell me I'm only making things worse for myself."

He considers this and nods. "Do you think you're making things worse for yourself?"

"No. I'm going to help the people at the hospital the best I can, that's good for me too. And if a miracle happens and the reason I started in the first place proves true, it will be really good for me." The rope is in a horrible knot and I have to take it out so I can use two hands to undo it. "Promise not to say I'm crazy?"

He laughs once and twitches his fingers over his heart. "Promise not to say I'm crazy?"

I copy his movement and then get back to my knot. "There was no trace of Finnick found in that sewer. Nothing. Not even a piece of cloth or the prong from his trident. That's what they told me. I need proof that he's dead. I trust you and Katniss and Gale and Pollux and Cressida to tell me what happened, of course, but I need more. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." He drums his fingers on the edge of the mattress and exhales slowly. "I didn't know they never found anything. Did they find anything of Homes and Castor?"

I shake my head. "Pollux got a job cataloging the debris that was found in the streets and the sewers. He's looking for anything that belonged to Castor for himself and anything that belonged to Finnick for me."

He gives me a long, intense look and I know it means that understands. "And you're working in hospitals to look for Finnick and Castor?"

I don't want him to tell me it's stupid, even though I know Peeta never would, so I nod without taking my eyes off the knot. I don't tell him I don't totally trust the people who told me that nothing was found, because he probably can guess that.

When Peeta speaks suddenly, he startles me a little. "I'll help you and Pollux," he declares firmly. "I have to talk to so many doctors and Plutarch and Haymitch all the time. I'll be careful who I ask but I'll tell them I'm confused about what happened in the sewer, that I need to see some proof of what happened so I can be sure of what's real and what's not."

I bump my shoulder against his. "Thank you, Peeta," I whisper. I put the unknotted rope in his hands. "Here. Do you know how to make knots? It's very soothing."

Twisting the rope through his fingers, he shakes his head. "Finnick tried to teach me when we were camped outside the city. I wasn't very good at it." He seems bothered by this.

Scooting closer, I put my hands over his. "There were too many distractions there. You'll be better here. I'll show you how to make good, relaxing knots." I think we both know I'm teaching him as much for him as I am for me. And I think we're both okay with that.

Peeta smiles as I manipulate his fingers around the rope. Maybe we'll all be okay.


	3. Going Away Means Forgetting

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Hi people! So glad you liked the first bits so much that you've come back for more!_

_Some asked if Finnick will be alive in this story… answering would spoil things so let's just say that I hope you'll stick around long enough to find out. Okay?_

_Okay._

_Enjoy! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

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><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 3: Going Away Means Forgetting**

I took Pollux's suggestion over the last few days and started working on providing the patients at my hospital with music. Sexta was willing enough to help me but she's not high enough up in the power chain to really make much of an impact. So we talked to a doctor who works on the first floor of patients. He turned us down in the blink of an eye, telling us that there's no medical evidence that music will do anything for the patients here.

Something tells me the other doctors at the hospital will stand with him so I stopped Sexta from moving on to the second floor doctor. I had a better plan, and Dr. Aurelius is just the man to help me.

Since I forgot to go and see him after Peeta's knot-tying lesson, I made up for it and I told him what I want to do for the patients. I haven't told Dr. Aurelius why I'm working there but he supports me working there, he even said it was a "fantastic" idea. By the end of my explanation I was nervous again but his face was still impassive so it wasn't so worrisome.

He surprised me by printing off a binder's worth of literature on music and medicine and telling me to give it to the people in charge of LBMM, as he explained it was commonly referred to. He told me music does have healing effects and, even if it can't heal some things it can make the moments of awareness easier to bear. He told me there was medical proof of this. And, to my relief, he didn't leave me completely on my own to tell the staff this - he included a written order demanding that music at least be tested on one floor and that the vital statistics of those patients be compared to the time they spent without music.

The man in charge of LBMM, Dr. Bosch - Lavinia's grandson, accepted the order and there's music playing on the fifth floor now. He says that there is evidence from the machines that having music on lowers fevers, evens out blood pressure, and calms heart rates. He sees it already. And he told me to come up with different soundtracks to play at different times on different floors.

I'm in charge of that. I don't know how to be in charge of that.

I'll figure it out. I am figuring it out.

Sexta smiles when she sees me putting music on at the control panel in the center of the fifth floor. "I think that makes it better for all of us, you know," she says as she files a slip of paper in a chart. "I've talked to some of the staff who've been here for a long time and they say it's easier to work here too. So even if not all the patients can be charted to show a difference, you've at least made us able to take better care of them."

I smile and adjust the volume, eager for Beetee to follow through on his recently made promise to redo the wiring so that there can be better quality music with more variety. "It's not all my idea," I tell her. "My friend Pollux told me he and the other Avoxes used music for mental health while they worked in the sewers."

I worry for a minute that she might have supported the use of Avoxes but I can see that she didn't. "My sister's an Avox," she says instead. "She worked in the Training Center and now she works at a restaurant. I suppose she had it pretty good compared to your friend. My family was surprised when I got this job, since we were tainted by her trying to run away with the plans from the water treatment facility just outside the city."

I don't want to talk about the Training Center or the Hunger Games but I suppose I have to get used to it. "Which floor did she work on?" It seems a safe enough question to ask. I don't remember the Avoxes from my floor but I want to be polite.

"District 7. Her first year she cleaned Johanna Mason's room."

A playlist I created with Beetee's help, that I've titled "Songs of the Sea" and filled with music by old, dead men with names like Debussy and Rimsky-Korsakov, fills the floor and even I feel calmer for it. "Tell her I'm sorry she had to go through all that," I say, smiling in spite of myself.

Sexta says she will and then we get to work with the patients. She changes bandages and I cover them with fresh, clean blankets, gowns, and socks. The only patient we don't do anything with on that floor is the man in the hyperbaric chamber. I've seen some doctors and nurses attending to him but I haven't been in his room since the first day I worked there. She shakes her head when I ask about him. "He's still hanging on. No one really knows why. The doctors, even Dr. Bosch, think his organs should have started failing already. But they haven't."

"Maybe he's got something to live for." I dump an armful of dirty socks and blankets into the laundry chute and hope desperately that he does. "Maybe there's someone out there who loves him and just hasn't found him yet."

She stops with her hands covered in foamy soap. "You really are a romantic, aren't you?" Her face contorts when she realizes what she said and she stammers an apology.

"No, it's okay. I am a romantic. Romantics aren't only about romance. That someone out there for that man could be a mother or a brother or just a friend." I'm saved from any more awkwardness by a call from Effie, who tells me that Dr. Aurelius has called to ask me to come and tell him how the music therapy is working. My shift is over so I promise to see Sexta tomorrow with a new playlist and I head for the hospital.

I pass the fountain where I usually meet Pollux but I don't expect to see him there now.

"Annie!"

I don't recognize the person who calls my name and I almost turn to hurry away but then I notice Pollux standing beside the man, with two other men behind him, waving at me. It takes a second but I realize he asked someone to get my attention and that's okay so I take a deep breath and cross to meet him. He holds his pad so I can see it and scribbles his message in a hurried, sloppy script.

_This is my cousin. Sorry._

_I was on my way to Effie Trinket's to tell you but then I saw you._

_The two friends I had drinks with? I told them what I was doing. They took me to these two other friends this afternoon. Those two were still in the sewers during the fighting. They saw the lizards attack me & the people I was with. They saw Katniss drop the holo. They went through the bodies to see if any soldiers could've survived._

My chest hurts where my heart is beating so fast. I feel dizzy and it's hard to concentrate on the words he's writing.

_Castor is dead, Homes too. The Avoxes said they were attacked too early and bled out fast. They gave me Castor's camera. I know he's dead._

_But Annie? They found Finnick._

_They said he wasn't dead when they found him. They wrapped him up as best they could and took him up to the street. They said some rebel soldiers were going by and told them to leave him to be picked up by a medical team. They said he still had a pulse then._

"He was alive?" I breathe, even though I'm not sure how I remember to breathe.

Pollux and the two other Avoxes all nod.

_I don't know if he's still alive but they both said they're willing to report exactly what they saw and the descriptions of who they talked to if you want to ask Plutarch or Haymitch or someone for help._

It's easier to think when there's every reason to let your mind shut down. It's a very odd sensation. I ask them to come with me and they agree, the cousin who still has his tongue comes along too. I'm not sure where I'm taking them, though, and Pollux seems as lost as I feel. But then fate intervenes and I see Gale Hawthorne crossing the street a block away from us.

He's almost hit by a car when I scream his name, but crosses safely and waits for me with an alarmed look on his face. I probably look like a crazy woman so it's probably not that unexpected. I'm out of breath, even though I haven't run far, so I grab Pollux's pad from him and show it to Gale. I realize that I trust Katniss' not-cousin more than Plutarch and maybe Haymitch, and it's probably because he told me the truth about what happened in the sewers even though he was ordered not to. "He might still be alive," I gasp. "Will you help me find him? Find what happened to him?"

He reads what Pollux wrote and looks at the men standing with me. I suppose he sees something in their eyes and he trusts Pollux. I know he feels incredible guilt that he went up the ladder before Finnick did. Maybe it's that too. Gale nods and gives the pad back to Pollux. "I'll help you find out what happened that day," he promises solemnly, "no matter how it turns out."

I really hope he means soon and I breathe a sigh of relief when he motions for us to follow him now. He leads us down a couple side streets, and I get the idea I'm the only one who doesn't know where we're going, until we arrive at an imposing looking building that Gale only has to put his hand on screen to get entrance to. He tells a guard we're with him and we're allowed by. He's apparently very important to Panem now. So long as he helps me find Finnick, nothing else matters.

We go to a room filled with computer screens and Gale uses his status to kick everyone else out of the room. He asks the Avoxes if they can draw or describe the men they left Finnick with, or remember any parts of their uniforms or tags. They both get to work right away at two of the screens.

"Wait," I say when something occurs to me. "Wouldn't Finnick have had any identification on his uniform or on his body?"

Pollux and Gale exchange a look before Gale answers. "No. Squad 451 didn't have names on uniforms and we didn't have the trackers that some of the other units had. I'm not sure why we didn't have names on uniforms but we didn't have trackers in case we had to go underground and hide. The Capitol could've hacked them and found us. Any identification that couldn't be done by our gear or our weapons would have to be done by sight."

"And if he was too badly damaged by the lizards," I choke out, "he might not have been recognizable."

He flexes his jaw uneasily but nods. "Yes, I suppose that's right. You know, don't you, that even if he was alive when they carried him out that day, he might not be alive today. That was weeks ago."

Four weeks, six days, nine hours, and… twenty-three minutes ago.

That's what time Katniss' holo went offline for the final time. That's what time she dropped it on the lizards, on Homes, on Castor, and on Finnick.

"I know," I tell him. I clear my throat and say it again. "I just want to know what happened, even if he's dead. I want to know where he is. I want… I want to know that he's not… that all that remains of him is in the ash of the lizards they burned after the lizards… after they… ate him."

Gale closes his eyes for a long moment before he turns to the computers Pollux's friends are working on. Pollux hugs me, leaving his arm around me as we both focus on the computers. I'm grateful for him because I know I'm being silly. If the Avoxes took Finnick to the street, he isn't just ash in a pile of lizard ash. That's the nightmare that's haunted me most. If we can't find out anything else, maybe that will be enough. But I want more.

If he's dead, I want something I can take home to District 4 and bury at sea.

If he's alive, I just want to be with him.

It takes a few minutes longer before the Avoxes identify, with what they say is almost absolute certainty, three of the five rebel soldiers they turned Finnick over to that day. Gale tells us that the three soldiers are assigned to District 11 now but that he'll contact them and see if they were on that street that day and what they remember about it, if they were. If a medical team came by, they'll still have to be found. He says it could take a few days but asks me if I want to stay in the rooms he's been assigned in this building while I wait.

I take a deep, shuddering breath and tell him that I don't. "Is there any way you could not tell anyone about this?" I ask nervously. "I don't mean President Paylor or your commanders. I mean Johanna and Haymitch and Plutarch. Beetee. Katniss."

"I won't tell them, and I won't tell anyone I don't have to tell," he promises as one of the Avoxes writes a message on a piece of paper - he says Gale can just say they came forward with information, not that Pollux and I were looking for anything. "See? We'll be fine. Where will you be?"

"At Effie Trinket's. She knows some of what I'm doing. But I might be with Peeta. He was helping me try and find out the truth too. I want to tell him about this."

Gale agrees to that and promises to let me know the moment he hears something solid.

Pollux leaves with me, leaving his friends to help Gale verify the stories. He agrees to walk with me to the hospital where Peeta is. I don't think I could've convinced him not to walk with me, especially since it's now the middle of the night. We don't talk - I don't talk and he doesn't write. We just walk.

We only stop when we see a broadcast being aired on one of the screens that are around the busier intersections in the city. We stop because they're showing Katniss.

She was found to be mental unstable and has been ordered confined to District 12 for three years. She left the Capitol today and citizens of Panem are instructed not to try and make any sort of contact with her unless approved by President Paylor or Haymitch Abernathy.

That, at least, is a bright spot in this world that should be so much brighter than it is. She gets to go to the place where she can heal and she gets to be left alone while she does it. I'm glad for her.

And now I need to go and check on Peeta even more.


	4. Wish Hard Enough

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Hi people! Big reveal time!_

_Enjoy! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 4: Wish Hard Enough**

I wake up with a start. My entire body hurts. That's what happens when you sleep in a chair meant only for short, conscious visits with someone in a hospital room.

"Annie?"

I'm in Peeta's room. I remember now.

He's sitting on a garbage can turned upside down right beside me, eye level with me. He puts his hand over mine and smiles a little. "Annie, Gale's here. He was going to tell you what he found out but then he got a message he had to take in the hallway. The message is about Finnick too."

I turn my hand over and grip Peeta's fingers so tightly that I notice his hand change colors quickly. I can't loosen my grip. "Did Gale find something?"

Peeta nods a little bit. "He found the soldiers and he found the medics. The medics came under attack and had to take cover, that's where things got confused."

"That's where Finnick got… lost?"

He doesn't have to answer because Gale comes into the room. "I'm 95% sure we've found him, Annie."

I swallow, try to swallow around the lump in my throat and squeeze Peeta harder. "Not one hundred percent?"

"Only a DNA test would be one hundred percent." He leans against the foot of Peeta's bed and runs his thumb up and down the edge. "We think he's in a hospital, that he's alive but unidentified."

"Why not just do the DNA test then?" Peeta asks the question I was silently asking.

Gale's faces twists and he shakes his head. "The unidentified man we think is most likely Finnick is in some sort of special medical thing because of an infection."

I feel like I'm underwater and sinking fast. I have to stay above the surface. "A hyperbaric chamber," I say, staring at a spot on the wall while they both look at me in confusion.

"Yeah," Gale says, "that's what the doctor I spoke to called it. So the thing is, opening it to extract his DNA could be dangerous to him. But if they had his DNA, then it could be compared to the files from when Finnick was reaped."

Maybe Peeta takes the pressure I'm putting on his hand as some sort of plea for him to speak for me, because he does. "So what do we do, Gale? I suppose family would have to give permission for the chamber to be opened but since he's unidentified, there's no family to give it."

"Right. That was President Paylor that I had to go speak to. She said there aren't really laws about this sort of thing, so she can only do what is the most attentive and open. She said that since there is witness testimony that this should be Finnick Odair, she'll approve the dangerous test only if a majority of the surviving victors are in favor of it. If there's not a majority, we'll have to wait until he either recovers enough to be brought out of it or… doesn't recover."

This makes sense to me. I like President Paylor even more because she's doing it this way.

I cough to clear my throat and ease up, just a little, on Peeta's hand. "Do I need to contact the other victors and ask them if they're in favor of it?"

"No, she's doing it." He gestures toward me and Peeta and holds out a communication device. "Aside from the two of you, of course. She just wants you to call her and tell her what you think based on what I said."

I realize I don't know how I can answer that question. So I do the cowardly thing and I ask that everyone else say their piece before I do. Peeta seems to understand that and goes into the hallway to use Gale's device to call President Paylor. He doesn't tell me what he said when he comes back. He only asks if there's somewhere I'd like to be for now.

I know it's time to tell them why I knew the unidentified man Gale figures is Finnick is in a hyperbaric chamber. "I need to go to the hospital where I work." They ask me why, just like I expected that they would. So I tell them about the man Sexta's told me about. "Is that who you think might be him? At the place where I work?"

Gale nods, his face set and tense. "I didn't put the two together but yeah, that's who seems to be the most likely candidate. You can't see in the chamber at all? To identify him by sight?"

I shake my head. "There's a medicated mist or something that fogs up the glass."

They seem to trust me. Gale says he'll take me there and stay with me so I'll know as soon as Paylor has the answer from Beetee, Haymitch, Enobaria, Johanna, and Katniss. Peeta explains everything to Dr. Aurelius and he gives Peeta a pass to come with me too. As I walk between the two of them, unsure of how I have the strength and focus to walk with purpose when all this is going on, a part of my mind realizes fully why Peeta and Gale are both so important to Katniss. I can see why she won't be able to live without both of them in her life.

I'm a little bit jealous of her.

Sexta meets us the moment we step off the elevator and onto the floor where Finnick might be. She looks alarmed and confused. "There are guards posted outside the unknown man's room," she tells me. "Do you know what's going on?"

I don't know how to answer her.

Gale does. He shows her his identification. "You were told Commander Hawthorne would be in charge of the guard, right? That's me. That patient may be a high value asset to Panem. I was told that you have a storage room we can use for privacy?"

Her eyes go wide and she glances at me but I don't know how to respond. When she sees that, she leads us to the empty storage room and tells us to let her know if we need anything else. Gale tells her he'll give her notice of anyone else coming to us.

Johanna and Enobaria arrive a few minutes later, and thankfully Johanna isn't upset that I didn't tell her what I was doing. Neither of them tell me what they told President Paylor and Beetee doesn't when he gets here. The president herself arrives a few minutes after that and Beetee helps her set up a computer where we can talk to Haymitch and Katniss.

I squeeze Peeta's hand in support when we see how haggard and broken Katniss looks.

"Annie?" President Paylor says. "Your fellow victors have all told me that the DNA test should be done unless two things are fact; first, that the doctor says doing the test has more than a ninety percent chance of killing him and second, that it's a risk you are willing to take. I believe, based on the evidence Hawthorne has given me, that it is Finnick Odair so I'll defer to you on this. If you want to wait, we'll wait. If you want me to tell the doctor to go ahead, we'll go ahead."

"Dr. Bosch?" I trust him and I know he'll do right, so when she says that it would be him, I tell her to talk to him about the DNA test. I feel selfish asking for it since it won't change anything about that man's condition one way or the other. The test is being done so I know who he is.

"Don't, Annie," Peeta says softly. "Don't feel guilty about this. Even if it's not Finnick, maybe someone's family will find someone they thought was dead. The DNA will be filed, it might be good anyway. And if you trust the doctor who will be doing it, then he's in good hands.

That really is most important. And Peeta's right - this could help someone else. I try to think like Finnick would if the tables were turned and I realize that would have the test done on me, because he'd feel it in his gut… just like I do. I repeat my answer to President Paylor and she goes to tell Dr. Bosch.

And all we can do is wait.

While we wait, something strange happens. Katniss seems to realize that Peeta's there and she suddenly looks more alert. Worried, but alert. It's hard to hear her at first but it's easy to see that she's worried about him. She demands to know why he's still in the Capitol and if they're being good to him. They ask each other a bunch of Real or Not Real questions to make sure it isn't President Snow holding either of them away from each other and they seem satisfied in the end. Some of the tension in Haymitch's shoulders fades away at the same time.

On the screen, Katniss turns to Haymitch. "Is there any way I can go back to the Capitol if it is Finnick? I should be there."

His eyes sort of bug out of his head but he points at their screen. "Don't ask me. President Paylor's right there."

We all look at President Paylor.

"If it is Finnick and if Annie asks for you to be here, I will allow it on the condition that Dr. Aurelius agrees it's safe for you and that you agree to be accompanied by someone at all times."

Johanna snorts and folds herself onto the chair on the other side of me. "What? We victors don't get to on whether or not Brainless gets to come back? I thought we have to vote on when Enobaria gets her teeth sharpened next."

Enobaria laughs as she picks at tiny bits of lint on her black pants. "In the spirit of the new Panem, I'm not getting my teeth sharpened anymore, unless they start to break. As for Katniss, I'm fine with her coming back here to help Finnick, or even just Annie if it's not him."

Her words obviously shock Beetee because he turns his chair very slowly to face her.

Opening her eyes impossibly wide, she shakes her head at him. "I know, I know. Out of character. Finnick was nice to me even when I was a bitch to him. The least I can do is be polite to his widow. Ish. To Annie.."

I realize that it's the first time she's ever spoken to, or maybe at, me. I smile a little at her in thanks.

Everyone ends up voting on whether or not Katniss can return to the Capitol. No one says she shouldn't come. I ask her if she wouldn't rather not be here.

"I don't want to be here now that I know Peeta's still there." She claps a hand over her mouth like she surprised herself and is worried she shouldn't have said it. She relaxes a little when Peeta says he'll feel better if she's closer too. Chewing her bottom lip, she looks at me again. "Sitting here won't do me any good, mostly because it's all ghosts here. I'll probably be okay here in time but if he's alive and I can help him live at all, then I want to do that first."

"Okay." I still don't want to get my hopes up about who might be in the hyperbaric chamber or what he might be like if it is him but I smile a little easier. "Thank you, Katniss."

"It's good that you said that," Peeta whispers in my ear while Katniss argues with Haymitch about something. "Katniss is always better when she's got someone to take care of. Between you and me, and maybe Finnick, she'll be just fine."

I'm squeezing his hand again but I really can't help it. "What do I do if it's not Finnick? I knew when I stayed here and when I wanted to work in the hospitals that he probably wasn't alive. But now that I know he might be, that he was for at least a little while after the lizards attacked and the holo was dropped, now what do I do if I find out that he's dead?"

He thinks about this for a minute and takes a deep breath. "Do you want to go home to District 4?"

I don't have to think about my answer. "No. There's no one there that matters to me."

"Do you want to stay here?"

"No. Well, maybe. Not really. I want to be helpful but I'm crazy sometimes. I don't think I could stay not crazy enough here."

He makes a face that tells me he disagrees about the crazy thing, or at least he doesn't like me saying it. "Then you should come home with District 12 with me when I go. There's nothing left but people are moving back so you could easily find a way to be helpful there, even if it's just with me and Haymitch and Katniss."

I never considered asking if I could go to District 12 but I like the idea. They are the people I know, and they're still rebuilding there so I could do something to help the people there. And Gale's family was so nice to me in District 13 when I ended up staying with them after Squad 451 left for the Capitol. Mrs. Hawthorne told me she has no intention of staying underground so I know she'll be going back if she hasn't already. She's the reason I didn't completely fall apart when the Capitol reported Finnick dead and then again when I was told he really was dead. I miss her and her children.

"Okay," I say after such a long time that everyone seems startled. I don't want to tell everyone what I mean but I don't have to because Peeta knows, I can tell by his smile.

But then I get distracted by Sexta coming into the room and asking President Paylor to step outside with her.

I wonder if I'm breaking the bones in Peeta's hand. He's still not saying anything.

President Paylor comes back with Dr. Bosch and they stand in front of me.

"Annie?" She says my name hesitantly, but I don't understand why. "Annie, Dr. Bosch did the DNA test. The man in the hyperbaric chamber is Finnick Odair."

She might say something else. She probably does say something else.

I don't hear it. I'm running out of the storage room and across the hall.

The man I love, the man I live for is alive. That's all I need to know.


	5. Doubt Whether You Can Fly

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_So who had major Odesta (Annick? … which is your preferred ship name?) feels during Mockingjay? I did! _

_Enjoy some more! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 5: Doubt Whether You Can Fly**

It is truly surreal to say it but there is a downside to finding Finnick alive.

The downside is this - I have to make medical decisions for him.

When I started work at LBMM I wished every patient there could have family arrive to care for them. I still do but I don't envy them making the decisions I have to make now.

There are doctors and nurses who explain everything to me patiently and carefully, three or four times if I ask them, but it doesn't really help that much. They don't know enough with any certainty and I know even less.

It's been three days.

I still do my job at the hospital and maybe I do it better because I never leave the building. Johanna asked me why I was still doing my job. The answer was the easiest one I've been in a very long time - working keeps me sane.

She accepted that and told me she'd be coming every day.

I'm glad she's coming every day.

Katniss and Haymitch came back to the Capitol too, and Katniss was assigned quarters here at the hospital where the guard outside Finnick's room, that Gale still commands, keeps an eye on her. She's not dangerous, that's easy to see, but I'm glad she's stuck her for me and for Finnick but for her too. She needs to reclaim her friendship with Gale. Close quarters will do that.

"Annie?" Dr. Bosch waits until I'm done feeding a legless man before he says my name. "I'd like to speak with you about your husband. Is there someone you'd like to be there while we talk?"

Nervous already, I walk past him without saying anything and go to the Katniss' rooms where everyone who cares about Finnick seems to congregate. Haymitch is there but he's snoring very loudly so I turn to Katniss. She comes with me without asking a question, only telling the guard outside that door to tell Haymitch where she went.

Dr. Bosch takes us to the room with the hyperbaric chamber, to Finnick's room. He explains that something in the lizard blood is still causing an infection in Finnick. He says that they've been given samples of the lizard blood to study and that they've come to the conclusion that they cannot properly treat the infection without better access to his body. What they want to do is move him to another chamber, one where his head would be outside the chamber. If I allow that, they will be able to give him medications and treatments better while his body, where most of his injuries are, can remain in the chamber to be treated.

I don't know what to say.

"What's the most dangerous thing?" Katniss asks for me. "Leaving him completely in the chamber, moving him from one chamber to another, or getting him a new chamber but having his head out?"

Dr. Bosch goes into a long, complicated explanation of the risks and benefits possible in all three situations. One glance at Katniss tells me she's as lost as I am. She puts up her hand to stop him. "How long does Annie have to decide?"

"The sooner the better but it's not an emergency."

Katniss takes my hand and drags me back to where Haymitch is asleep. She shakes his shoulder until he wakes up and jumps back when he lurches to his feet. "Calm down. My mother is still at the Presidential Mansion, isn't she? She didn't go to District 4 yet?"

He blinks blearily and shakes his head. "I mean, yeah, she's still at the Mansion. Why?"

"Annie needs help understanding medical speak. They're making her make decisions based on things she doesn't understand. My mother's not a doctor but she understands enough to at least explain it better to Annie."

He looks at me to see if it's what I want. It seems like the best of some otherwise unhappy options and if Finnick told me how nice Katniss' mother was to him after he got to District 13 so I nod that it is what I want. "Alright. I'll get her to come over here. You gonna talk to her, sweetheart?"

Katniss' brow furrows and she glares at him. "Of course I'll talk to her. Why wouldn't I talk to her? Maybe she won't want to talk to me, since I'm an assassin."

"You give yourself too much credit, sweetheart, but I'm glad you're glaring at me. You must be feeling better." He ducks away when she takes a sort of weak swing at him. "Nice. Anyway, I'll go make that call. Peeta's coming in a little bit to see Annie. You can make yourself scarce in here with me or you can see him where I can see the two of you. Deal?"

"We're always all close together, Haymitch," I say when Katniss seems to have trouble answering. "Peeta won't hurt Katniss. I won't let him. We'll all be fine."

He considers me for a minute and nods, leaving Katniss and I alone in the room while he goes to call Katniss' mother. She shrugs it off when I thank her for asking her mother to come. "I probably should've asked her myself," she says quietly, "but I'd probably have just clammed up and not been able to say anything."

I squeeze her hand. "It's better that Haymitch is asking. With the guards President Paylor put on Finnick's room, I'm sure your mother will need some sort of official clearance to get into this hospital, into his room, and to hear what the doctors say." Her wary smile in response makes me really happy that I was able to help her feel a little better.

Mrs. Everdeen arrives before Peeta does, but he and Johanna come together before Dr. Bosch can get away from a different patient and come talk to us. So we're all there when he explains what he already told me and Katniss. I still don't understand all of it. Mrs. Everdeen asks a lot of questions, though, and even Haymitch asks some so I know I'm in good hands. I won't have to make these decisions alone and that makes me feel more at ease.

Mrs. Everdeen turns to me, focusing just on me really, when Dr. Bosch leaves us alone. "Do you want me to try and explain the details of what he said or would you like me to just tell you what I would do if it were my husband or my daughter?"

I never thought I'd be able to do it this way but it's perfect. She understands the details and she knows the situation I'm in. "Tell me what you would do. But tell me why?"

She nods, her face pale and drawn after all that's happened in the last few months. "If it were my husband in that chamber and if I were given those three scenarios, I would have him moved to a different chamber where he wouldn't be completely encased. I would want to see his face, to give him the chance to see my face and to hear my voice begging him to keep fighting.

"They don't know a lot about the lizard blood, Annie, and any treatment they try will be nothing more than trying. There is no guarantee either way. The bites are on his chest, on his limbs. That's where the infection is the worst so that needs to stay in the chamber. The gases in the chamber are keeping him asleep. He could be woken up, even for small periods of time, if things are changed. And maybe it would be worth it to see what effect all of this has had on his brain." She reaches out and puts her hands around mine. "I'm not saying that he'll wake up and everything will be fine, it might not be. It might be. But if it's not, then any further decisions can be made with that in mind."

She's telling me he may never wake up. I can understand that. I'm strangely calm about it. Maybe I knew it was a possibility. I was told he was dead and I knew was probably dead when I started looking for one last bit of him. Maybe my calmness now is because I get a little more time with him, time I wasn't supposed to have with him.

"It's not selfish to have him moved to see his face and hope he can hear me?"

Mrs. Everdeen isn't the only one who says "no." Everyone does. But she's the only one who says more. "This is about dignity, Annie," she tells me in a soft voice, one like Mags used to use to make sure I was paying attention. "This about doing for Finnick what gives him the life he would want to have. No one knows that as well as you do. We can tell you what we'd do for someone we love, we can tell you what we'd do for him. Only you can do for him as you know in your heart he would want you to do."

I put my hands over my ears and close my eyes. I don't do it as much as I used to but I do it now. It's the way I think best. I imagine that I can talk to Finnick, that I can ask him what to do. I don't have to imagine it for long. I open my eyes. "He wouldn't want to be in there. He wouldn't want to… die in a strange chamber. He would want to be in the air, in the open."

"So we're moving him?" Dr. Bosch says from the doorway.

I take a deep breath and nod. "Yes, please."

The process takes a few hours. None of us are allowed to be there. Dr. Bosch accepts Mrs. Everdeen's medical qualifications and allows her to be there at my request. I wait with Katniss and Peeta and Johanna and Haymitch. We don't do much of anything. We just sit. I stare at the pattern on the tiled floor so long that it starts to move in front of me. It's like being on the ocean. I wonder if it's bad for me. I don't care if it's bad for me.

Johanna brings me bread and water in a bottle after a little while. She annoys me until I eat the bread and drink the water. When I've done what she wants, she turns and does the same to Katniss. Peeta complies much easier. She leaves Haymitch to fend for himself after her comments on her newly found nurturing nature.

Mrs. Everdeen and Sexta come just as Katniss finishes her water. Sexta's holding a clipboard and is poised to write but it's Katniss' mother who speaks. "The transfer went well." She looks at me when she says it, and she doesn't look happy but she doesn't look like she's holding anything back. "The room Finnick is in now is an extreme clean room. I'm not sure exactly how it works so you'll have to ask Sexta if you want details, but the point of it is that no germs or bacteria can enter the space. Anyone who goes in will be decontaminated before entering and will be required to wear protective gear. You will be allowed to touch his face, but you will have gloves and a mask on at all times. He doesn't need to be any sicker than he is."

Sexta steps forward then. "We're going to approve five people in addition to you, Annie, that will have permission to be in the room. That's all we can do for now. Two people can be in the room at the same time but no one can be there for longer than four hours at a time and then you have to take a four hour break. Those rules apply to you as well, Annie."

She looks like I might be upset about the rules but I'm not. If it helps Finnick in any way, I'm fine with it. I also don't think it would be good for my mind to stay in there for extended periods of time. These people in the room with me now care about him too. They'll take care of him when I can't. "Do I pick the five the people?" I ask, not surprised when she nods. "Haymitch, Johanna, Peeta, Katniss, and Mrs. Everdeen? Is that okay?"

It's okay with everyone, just as I knew it would be even if I am relieved that it is.

But then they ask me if I want to go in first alone or if I want someone to come with me. That question is a little bit harder.

"Peeta should go," Johanna says abruptly, just when I was worrying over whether I should ask her since she was, is Finnick's best friend. She doesn't meet my eyes. "I need to talk to Haymitch about something and Katniss and her mother should talk. Besides, you and Peeta are good for each other with all the Real or Not Real crap."

"What she said," Haymitch agrees, "just more diplomatically put."

"Yeah, like you'd ever speak diplomatically," she counters, seeming eager to put the attention on him instead of keeping it on her.

I look at Peeta, hoping he will go with me. He was who I would've asked if I'd been brave enough to ask anyone. He nods and steps toward Sexta. "Show us what to do."

Being decontaminated and getting suited up takes about ten minutes. Our clothes are entirely covered by gowns Sexta says will be destroyed when we leave, our hands are covered by rubber gloves, and our faces are covered with a clear plastic visor that goes from the tops of our foreheads down past our chins. I feel like a member of a Hunger Games prep team. And that thought almost sends me spiralling out of control.

"Annie," Peeta says firmly, wrapping his rubber covered fingers around my hand. "Come on. It's time to see Finnick."

There's a nurse in the corner of the room but she tells us to pretend as though she isn't there. The new chamber is in the center of the room. The gases inside it aren't as opaque and I can see through the glass in most places. Finnick's body is covered in a strange looking white material, from the top of his neck down to his feet and all over his limbs. I take a further step forward and see the tubes running out of the top of the chamber. Some come from the device itself and some are branching off the tube down his throat that comes out of his mouth.

But it's Finnick.

My husband is alive.

I remember that Mrs. Everdeen said I could touch his face, and I want to. I walk forward to a stool that's near his head and I sit down. His eyes are closed. His skin is more pale than I've ever seen it. He's got whiskers. It seems odd but I'm going to take it as a sign of life.

I touch my fingers to his temple. willing him to know I'm here and that I will never stop loving him.

It's all I can do. I hope it's enough.


	6. Could Not Have Been A Lovelier Sight

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Nobody's asked this yet but... I would've if I were reading the story so… Annie is not pregnant. It just didn't work. So that's not canon. Don't worry. It'll probably work out in the end!_

_Enjoy some more! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 6: Could Not Have Been A Lovelier Sight**

Finnick has never done what I expect him to do.

I didn't expect that he'd ever fall in love with me, not the way I love him him. I never expected him to smile when he came home from the Capitol. I never understood how he found the strength to get up every morning. I didn't know how he could find beauty in a world that could be so ugly. I didn't think he could be happy with me once the world changed and he could have anything he wanted. And I don't believe he can hear me as I sit beside him and read from his favorite book, _Peter Pan_.

I'm used to the beeps and whirs and clicks of the machines in the room. I'm not used to choked sound of someone clearing their throat. I drop the book on the floor and look around the room. The nurse who was stationed in here for the first few days isn't here all the time now because Finnick's stable enough that it's unnecessary. Katniss was in the room with me but she had a panic attack and left to get some air. I'm alone.

Except for Finnick.

And he hasn't made any noise since he was moved to this room almost a week ago.

"Skipped."

I nearly fall off the chair as I lean closer to him. His eyes are closed but I think he said the word. Either said it or I really am losing my mind. I don't want to lose my mind.

"Page."

I see his lips move around the tube in his throat. It doesn't sound like his voice but it wouldn't, not with the tube in the way. Could he really have spoken? I don't ask him to speak again. I lean to get the book and find the last page I read. If I did I skip a page, and the book is very old so they might be sticking together, I'll know he say something to me.

I did skip a page.

My heart hammers painfully in my chest and I carefully separate the pages so I can fix what I did wrong. I want my voice to sound calm and clear, not like I imagine it will sound. I take a deep breath and read the first paragraph from the page I missed.

"_Sometimes, though not often, he had dreams, and they were more painful than the dreams of other boys. For hours he could not be separated from these dreams, though he wailed piteously in them. They had to do, I think, with the riddle of his existence."_

I raise my eyes and look at him. His eyes are still closed and he's not moving, and I worry about the dreams he's having while the infection and the medications course through him - can they be any worse than the dreams that used to leave him screaming into his pillow when he slept beside me? But then I see his lips move because he's trying to say something else.

"Annie."

The plastic visor over my face starts to fog as my temperature rises and tears pool in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. He is speaking. Finnick is talking and he said my name. I try to take deep breaths and not be quite so angry that I have to keep the visor in place and the gloves on my hands. I brush my fingers over his hair and lean as close as I can, fearful the mask will startle him too much if he opens his eyes. "It's okay," I tell him, knowing it's incredibly far from being okay, all things considered. "It's okay. They're just dreams. It's not real. You're safe now. I'm here. It's okay. I love you."

He must hear me. He must understand me. A tear escapes from his closed eye and trails down his temple, disappearing into his hair.

I touch my finger to the spot and repeat everything I said.

I keep repeating it until Dr. Bosch comes through the doors. He seems very surprised when I tell him that Finnick said three words. He asks me twice if the words made sense, and he doesn't seem to believe that he could pay enough attention to the book that he would notice a mistake. After a minute, he decides that maybe I'm right and tells me he's going to perform a series of status tests and that I'm free to stay so long as I don't get in the way or get too upset.

I'm not leaving.

In the end, after a bunch of tests I don't really understand, Dr. Bosch decides it will be best if the tube isn't down his throat any more. He explains that intubation can cause additional infection so if Finnick can breathe on his own or with an oxygen mask, and he thinks he'll be able to since he was talking - not to him but to me, it will be better to have it out. I give my permission for that because I can't think of any reason not to.

"Do you think you can help me?" he asks. "It'll save the time of having Sexta come through decontamination after she finishes what she's doing if you can help."

I nod. Then I find my voice. "I can help."

He warns me that the withdrawal may cause Finnick to vomit and tells me to be ready with a suction device from the cabinet in the room. I'll have to press that into his mouth and suck everything out before he choke on it and before it settles in his lungs where it could cause pneumonia. When I ask if it will hurt him, he tells me that Finnick's in pain now and the pain of the removal and suction will be brief and temporary.

I steel myself to cause him pain and nod when I'm ready with the device.

It all happens just like Dr. Bosch said it would, but he says I did exactly what I was supposed to do so I breathe a little easier than I had been - and I was breathing at all so it was a lot easier.

I get completely distracted from all that, though, when I see the sea green eyes I never thought I'd see again.

Finnick opened his eyes!

It's not a blank, unseeing stare either. He's looking around. He can't move his head, but he's looking around. I look to Dr. Bosch for help and he tells me keep my visor on but to lean close and talk to him so he can hear my voice and focus on that. He promises to prompt me if there's anything more I need to do. For now, I need to calm him down.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. Finn, it's okay. It's Annie. I'm here." I don't know if there's something more I should be saying but keeping it simple seems like the best idea. I remember what he'd say to me in the first days, weeks, and months after my games and I say it back to him now. "Look at me, Finn. See me. See me. I'm here. You're here. Look at me, Finn."

His eyes finally focus on me, when I cup my hands on either side of his face, and he blinks twice. And then he looks so very sad.

"No, no, no," I say quickly. "No. Don't be sad. It's going to be okay. You're alive and I'm here. Don't look at me like that. I love you. You love me. Be glad for that, that we're seeing each other now."

He exhales very slowly and some of the sadness fades from his eyes. He turns his head a little bit, pressing the right side of his face into my hand, and closes his eyes.

"He's doing very well," Dr. Bosch says quietly. "I'm surprised, to be honest. He recognized you, he reacted to your words, and he's not showing any signs of distress now."

I want to ask if he'll be okay now but I know that no one can answer that. So I search for a different question to ask. "What do I do now? My four hours are almost up, can I stay longer?"

He presses some buttons on the other side of the chamber and nods. "Yes, you can stay longer. I'll tell the others and send someone in if you want. I'll caution you to be careful about how long you stay, though. Every day he's still alive is one day closer to some sort of recovery and life. That doesn't mean it will be easy. He will need help, he will need you to be strong for him. Don't hurt yourself now, alright?"

I'm terrified that if I leave, Finnick will wake up, again, or… die while I'm not here. But what he says makes sense and that's the future I need to bet on so I agree to his advice. "Should I just sit here?"

Walking around the chamber, he picks up the book. "No, read to him. He was listening and it helped him. Keep helping him."

I take the book in my free hand, the one that isn't cupping his face, and balance it on my knee while I go back to the page I skipped. The next line is about Wendy holding Peter in her lap and soothing him after the dreams that made him wail, calming him before he could wake all the way up. It's eerie that the book is so true to what I am doing now.

I'm frightened to be on my own with him, though, so I ask Dr. Bosch to send Johanna in. She probably isn't the most calming person I could choose but I know how much she means to Finnick and how much he means to her. She should be the first one to know that he woke up and spoke.

I read very slowly until Johanna comes in because I can't take my hand away from him and I can't turn the pages with one hand without dropping the book. She tells me right away that Dr. Bosch told her that he was awake and spoke and that I'm reading to keep him calm. I don't have a chance to say anything before she snatches the book from me and looks at the cover. "_Peter Pan_? What book is this?" she whispers. "I've never heard of it."

"Finnick's mother had the story memorized. She used to tell it to him when he was little," I whisper back. "He loves it. It's about fairies and pirates and things."

She looks at it skeptically and opens it to the first page, showing it to me with a shrug. "Since I've never read it before?"

I brush my thumb over Finnick's cheek, wheeling my chair so that I'm better angled to touch him. "We have to start the book over, alright? Poor Johanna's never heard the story." He sighs against my hand, whether it's just a sigh or a comment on starting over or on her never hearing it I don't know. It's a sign of life, though, and that's enough for me.

I get to the end of chapter two before I have to leave the room. I don't want to leave the room, of course, but I have to go to the bathroom and my stomach is starting to ache from hunger pains. I bite my lip to keep from smiling at Johanna's scowl when I tell her that - I think she was determined to not like the book but it's obvious she doesn't want to stop. "Will you stay with him?"

She nods and moves to take my seat. "Of course. And I won't read more of the book. I like to hear new books, not read them."

Finnick told me once that he didn't think Johanna could read very well, since she grew up in the orphanage in District 7 and no one in the orphanages gets a very good education, and maybe that's part of the reason she isn't reading on. It doesn't matter. "He told me about the stories you used to tell him," I tell her, in case she's lost for what to say since I want her to to keep talking to him. "Grimm's Fairy Tales, I think he said they were called. You could tell him those?"

She brightens at that and I'm happy I did that for her.

When I've changed back into regular clothes and used the bathroom, I step into the storage room that's a weird sort of home now. Haymitch points to a bowl of soup on the table beside a sandwich. "Special bowls. Keeps the soup hot as long as it sits there. Eat."

I don't have to be told twice. And I don't say anything until the bowl is empty and the only thing left on the plate are crumbs too small to pick up. I turn down his offer to get me more. "Did Dr. Bosch tell you he's awake?"

"Yeah, Katniss and her mother heard it too. They're down in the cafeteria. I didn't think you could be convinced to go so far away."

I start to protest but then I realize he probably is right. I've still done some of my work with the other patients but I don't leave this floor. I drop my eyes in admission of what he said. "You all don't have to stay here all the time, you know."

He sits down across from me and leans on his elbows. "Yeah, we know. And thank you for your consideration but we're good. We all talked. There will always be someone in this room and there will always be someone in his room. Neither you nor him get to be totally alone for a good long while yet. That's just how it is."

I feel weirdly warm when he says it so I let myself smile. And then I let my worries show, remembering how Mags told me that Haymitch was a rock who would never let me down. "He looked so sad for a minute. I'm afraid he's sad because he knows he's dying. I'm afraid he's afraid of saying goodbye to me. What if he woke up just to die?"

He reaches across and puts his hands over mine. "Hey, don't do that. I'd say you've got a healthy view of reality. At least you had one when you were looking for damn pieces of him. Don't lose that now. Don't give up on him. Know that it could turn out one way or it could turn out another. Just like when he went back into the arena. A part of you had to know he might die in that arena, right? And another part of you had to know he might survive that arena, right?"

It's exactly how I felt.

Haymitch smiles grimly and squeezes my hands. "Same thing, then. That room, that chamber is another arena. He might come out of it, he might not. But the thing you _cannot_ do is give up on him. The fact that you're here, that he heard you? That's all the reason he needs to fight as hard as he can."

"But it might not be enough."

"You're enough to fight for," he says gently, "the question is whether or not he's strong enough to fight. He might not be. My money is on him, though. Your's should be too."


	7. Teach Me to Sing

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Enjoy some more! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 7: Teach Me Sing**

Things stay in a steady pattern over the next week. Finnick is awake for a few minutes at a time and sometimes he says a few words, but only to me. If I'm not in the room, he says my name but nothing more. His vital signs are slowly improving and Mrs. Everdeen tells me that I can have a little more hope every day. She's working with Dr. Bosch to give him herbal treatments for his fever and the doctor says that's a large part of the reason he's responding better to the drugs that need his body temperature at a certain level to be totally effective.

I've kept working with the other patients too. Some of them have died and some have been moved to other hospitals because they've recovered some. It's good for me to see that and it's good for me to help them do whichever it is fate has in store for them. They're doing something for me and I'm doing something for them. I hope that's how they see it, and everyone else sees it.

I feel sick to my stomach now, though, since I'm stuck outside of Finnick's room while Dr. Bosch, Sexta, and Mrs. Everdeen do a complete evaluation of his injuries, including taking him out of the chamber. I want to be with him but I don't. I'm better off out here and I trust them.

I bury my face in my hands and groan. Peeta rubs my back. We're hiding in a storage closet. Katniss knows where we are and promised to get me as soon as her mother came out.

We both jump, knocking over a stack of boxes I idly hope aren't important, when she flings the door open. "Annie, come on. My mother says they've taken him out of the chamber because the infection is almost all gone. All his wounds are healed over. If you decontaminate, you can go in and see him."

Out of the chamber?

Wounds healed over?

Infection almost gone?

None of those sound like certain things but I'll take them. I follow Katniss to the decontamination room. She and Peeta watch me as I'm cleaned and put on the suit I'm getting far too used to putting on. As I turn to go through into Finnick's room, I see Katniss brush her fingers against Peeta's and that makes me feel so good I'm sure it's a sign that good things really are happening to all of us.

Mrs. Everdeen meets me on the other side. "Do you need me to explain anything before you see him?"

I want to see him. I want to go through. But I need to know how to take care of him. "Yes. Please. Explain anything you'd want explained to you."

She nods and clasps her gloved hands over her stomach. "Finnick is still suffering a little bit from the infection caused by the lizard blood. Dr. Bosch knows better how to treat it now and the areas of infection are localized on his body. Bringing him out of the chamber will allow each area to be treated with as much medication as possible. We still can't be entirely sure what any last effect of the infection will be, but it is going away.

"Finnick's wounds, the bite marks from the lizards, are closed now. That his body has repaired such damage to his skin is a really good thing, Annie. More than that, open wounds are the best way for infections to enter his body. Since the wounds are closed, the risk of further infection has all but gone away. The bites will be kept covered for a while yet and they'll be treated with medication but it's a good thing. I promise.

"Finnick is still incredibly weak. He hasn't moved in a long time and his muscles have become weak while his body was ravaged by the infection. Dr. Bosch also doesn't know if the lizard bites damaged any muscle or bone permanently. He's going to start assessing that tomorrow. One he does that, he'll come up with a plan for how to exercise Finnick's body a little bit at a time so that when he can leave this hospital, he'll be as independent as possible."

I'm proud of myself for how closely I listened to every word she said. But my ears still perked up even more when she said _when_. "He'll be able to leave the hospital?" I ask hesitantly.

"I really do think so." She smiles behind her clear visor and touches my hand. "I'm not saying that he'll ever be the same as he was before the Quarter Quell, he won't. I'm saying that I don't think he'll spend the rest of his life in a place like this."

I can't help but smile. "That's good enough for me. It'll be good enough for him."

"I thought so." She pushes open the door to Finnick's room and nods, "Go and see him. He'll probably still be awake."

Now I'm nervous.

Mrs. Everdeen sees me hesitate and touches my shoulder so I'll turn back to her. "He's completely covered, Annie. You won't be able to see any of the bite marks. They're either bandaged or covered by a medicated sheet. You don't have to see them today."

But I do have to see them one day. Just not today. I nod my thanks and I find my courage.

Sexta is standing at a machine by the door and she whispers that it's about time I got there. "He's been asking for you. He's still awake."

I start to hurry toward him but then I stop. "Can I touch him?"

"Face, left hand and arm, left shoulder, left calf and foot - yes. Most of his injuries are on the right side, especially the right arm, chest, shoulder, and hip. Stay away from those areas. He can feel some degree of pain but the places I mentioned should be fine. He'll react if it hurts. Just watch him and learn what his reactions are so you don't need him to admit to the pain."

"Shouldn't he admit to it?"

"In theory, yes, but something tells me he's aware enough that he won't want you to worry that you're hurting him so he won't say it and he'll try to hide it. Am I wrong?"

I shake my head sheepishly.

She smiles. "Good, then you know that you can take care of him by not asking him to be weaker than he wants to appear in front of you. Now go."

I don't need to be told twice, again.

Finnick's on a proper bed now, even though there is loops of plastic material at the bottom that I guess is able to be converted into a protective bubble in an emergency. He's still covered in a while sheet, but now it drapes up and over his right shoulder. His left arm is bare and uncovered, and there are tubes in it that snake to different machines. There are tubes in his nose and an oxygen mask draped on the pillow behind him.

But he is my Finnick.

"Annie? You okay?"

I don't realize I move across the room to him. I don't know if I'm allowed to sit on the very edge of his bed, but I am. No one stops me. I raise my gloved hand and let my fingers run along the line of his chin. "Are you okay?"

He gives the slightest shake of his head. "You first."

This is how our conversations go. It's how they've always gone. I smile. "Yes, Finnick. I'm okay. I'm okay because you're here and you're talking to me. I'm okay because you're not in that chamber anymore. I'm okay because I love you. I'm okay because you love me."

His eyes are watery and a tear escapes from each of them, and I catch the tears with my thumb. "I love you," he breathes, pressing his face into my hand and closing his eyes.

It's his way of saying that he's okay too. I'll take it. I sit still as his breath evens out enough that I know he's asleep. Only then do I look up at Dr. Bosch.

"Two days," he says as if he's answering a question. "If he's in the same place or improved in two days, then you can see him without all the gear. We'll keep an on you to make sure you're not getting sick and you'll have to wear it if you are but, if you aren't, we'll leave off the masks and just make you wash your hands really well. Deal?"

I could cry over this too. I don't, or at least I try really hard not to. "Deal."

"And you can stay there too," he adds. "I agree with Sexta - you either know or you'll learn how to tell if you need to give him space. Do it if you can tell he needs it. If he doesn't need it, there's nothing better for his recovery than having you close."

I'll take it. I'll take all of it.

Dr. Bosch puts _Peter Pan _where I can reach it and turns the Songs of the Sea playlist I made on quietly, telling me he now believes in fate because it's what I made before I knew Finnick could hear it, and tells me he'll leave me alone for a little while. I'm to push the red button if I need help. He tells me he'll be back in a few hours, Sexta will be back periodically, and he'll send someone in to sit with me or let me take a break in an hour.

I know Johanna is out to lunch with Gale so I ask for Haymitch or Katniss, but I doubt it will be Katniss because hospital rooms don't seem to agree with her and she's only managed to be in one for about twenty minutes before she fled just before a panic attack. I understand her problems. I was remade before and after my Games too. And I know how much time she spent in the hospital in District 13. I wonder if maybe it'll be different now that there's no hyperbaric chamber in the room.

But in the meantime, I just get to be with Finnick.

And he opens his eyes as soon as Dr. Bosch leaves the room.

"Were you pretending to be asleep?" I gasp.

"No. Yes." He sighs tentatively. "Maybe. Hold my hand?"

I consider the needles and tubes in his hand and calculate the risk of me knocking one lose. I can feel his eyes watching me, begging me to do it, so I take the chance and weave my fingers with his. All the crying I've been trying not to do comes to an end then, the moment he gives my hand the slightest squeeze. Tears stream down my face and I wish so badly that the two days were up so I could kiss him, even just kiss his hand.

He rubs his thumb on the back of my hand. "You're fogging your mask."

"Stupid mask," I mutter wetly.

"Still. Calm down." He smiles just a little when I look up at him. "I can't see you. Through the fog."

Laughter.

It sounds so foreign. It seems like something I did a lifetime ago.

But he made me laugh.

I do my best to calm down.

He squeezes my hand again and I'm brave enough to squeeze back just a little. He looks tired but he doesn't look like he wants to go to sleep so I don't tell him too. I think he'll drift off to sleep with no warning and that's the way it should be. The only thing I worry about is him asking me what happened and why he's in such a bad place. He hasn't been told anything yet, other than that the war was successful and that he was hurt in the battle for the Capitol. He hasn't asked any questions and we don't know if he remembers anything about what happened to him, or even if he remembers going to the Capitol to fight.

Neither of us know what to talk about so we don't talk. I read to him again. It's probably safest. He can watch me all he wants and I can keep my mask from fogging by concentrating on the words on the pages. And we do get through six pages before he really does fall asleep.

Katniss slips into the room a few minutes later, takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders, and cross the room to sit beside me. "How is he?"

"Better. He teased me."

I blush a little at the admission but Katniss only smiles. "Good. That sounds more like Finnick," she says. "I'm not going to panic and break down, I promise."

I shrug and flex the arm he's not holding on to. "You can, if you need to. Just do it in the corner so you don't hit a machine or him."

She smiles a little over that. "My mother made me go talk to Dr. Aurelius. I suppose you and Peeta are right. He can be helpful." The smile turns to a scowl. "Anyway, I talked to him about what happened when Finnick got hurt too. He said we should probably try to get an idea of what he remembers, so we know how to help him deal with whatever he does remember. He said he can come here and be present or lead the evaluation if you want. You just have to let him know."

Asking questions like this makes me nervous but there probably isn't anything I can do to stop it. I know what Sexta and Dr. Bosch said is true, that Finnick will hide things from me - from everyone. We can't help him if we don't know. So we have to ask.

I want to talk to Dr. Aurelius myself now. I can't leave, though, until someone besides Katniss is with him. I know she'll try very hard to keep it together but even I have trouble doing that when I'm alone in the room with him. Haymitch or Peeta should be following her in soon enough. I'll go to Dr. Aurelius then.


	8. Chasing After All of Us

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Enjoy some more! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 8: Chasing After All of Us**

I develop a form of hypochondria two days later.

That's what Dr. Aurelius diagnoses me with. He tells me my absolute conviction that I've come down with some mystery illness, and developed a sore throat and an aching head, is merely a symptom of hypochondria. As he explains it, I'm so nervous about being allowed to see Finnick without gloves or a mask that I've convinced myself I'm sick when I'm not sick - and Sexta has done a dozen tests trying to prove that to me.

"So I'm just crazy?" I sigh as the two of stand outside Finnick's room, not moving because my stomach is in knots tighter than anything a fisherman has ever used.

"Annie," he says, his voice low with warning because he does not approve when I call myself that.

I roll my eyes. "So I'm just extra nervous about this?"

He nods in approval. "This and every day forward from here. It's perfectly natural and I would be concerned if you weren't as concerned as you. Let me ask you, though, do you trust me? Dr. Bosch? Sexta? Mrs. Everdeen? Haymitch?"

"Yes. All of you." I don't know where he's going with this.

"If you trust us, trust that we won't allow you to do anything that could hurt Finnick. Is that fair enough? Does that make this at all easier?"

For some reason I don't want to admit that it does but that seems unfair so I admit it. "Can I go in now?"

He reaches around me and pushes the door open. "I think that would be wise. He seems to be getting antsy and agitated."

I almost clap my hand over my mouth, because I didn't realize Finnick could see me just standing outside his door, but I remember I'm not supposed to touch my clean hands to my face. I push past Dr. Aurelius and hurry into the room. "I didn't know you could see me," I blurt out.

"So you would have fretted further down the hallway?" he asks with a knowing smile.

I feel the blush in my cheeks and I smile back. "Something like that."

He raises his left hand a little bit off the bed and motions me forward. "Come here. I want to feel your skin without the rubber between us."

He doesn't have to ask twice. I've been aching to feel his warmth since I found out he was alive. But I do more than he expects, pulling the chair up close to the top of the bed and put my hands over his. When he doesn't wince, I lift his hand and put it against my cheek - and I'm allowed to do this.

His exhaled breath is deep and shuddering. "Oh, Annie," he murmurs. "I love you."

I put his hand on my face for him but it means just as much to me. "I love you too. You're going to be okay, you know that, right? Aren't you?"

He puts enough pressure on my cheek to make me look him in the eye. "I'm sorry I left you the last time, Annie, but I'm not leaving you again. Ever. If you still went me in this state, you're never getting rid of me again."

I smile and lean close to kiss him on his forehead, the only place I'm allowed to kiss him yet. "Never, ever say that again. That I might not want you. You can say the rest as much as you like but don't ever say, think, or wonder that I might have changed my mind just because you're different now." Even though he's nodding, I can tell there's still something else he wants to worry about. I kiss him again to try and give him the nerve. "Come on, tell me what it is. It'll be better if it's all out there in the open."

He swallows hard and sighs. "No, I don't think I need to say anything else."

"Yes, Finnick, you do. I can see in your eyes that there's something else you need to say so that I can tell you you're being ridiculous."

I can see the surprise in his eyes but then he smiles. "You sound like someone I know."

He's talking about how our roles used to be reversed, how he used to say these same things to me. I shake my head and move from the chair to the edge of the bed. "What can I say? I learn from the best? So talk."

It takes him a long minute to consider how to say whatever it is I know he needs to say and when he finally figures it out, it all happens in a rush. "It's over now. The world's different. I guess I'm… afraid that I'm not going to be the person you loved."

I blink, three times, before I can answer. "You thought, even for just a second, that the way I loved you was out of pity or obligation? Because I knew what you did for me in the Capitol?"

He twitches his shoulders in a noncommittal shrug.

My eyes feel like they're impossibly wide. "No."

His eyes open a little wider. "No? That's all?"

"I'm sorry. No, you are absolutely, 110% wrong. I'm trying hard not to be offended that you'd even think that about me." I give him a challenging look, even though I feel guilty about doing it I think he needs to have it done so he'll snap out of it.

"So now that the war is over and there are no more Hunger Games, you don't want to go and look for a better man than me?"

"Take it back, Finnick Odair," I growl, no longer guilty over anything. "Now."

"Fine. Sorry." He looks away, glancing out the window at the bright early spring sunshine. Then he thinks better of it and looks back at me. "You sound like Mags."

"Thank you," I say absently, my mind coming to the realization that he won't believe me unless I prove it to him. I have to think of a way of showing him what the truth is. Seeing is believing, as Mags used to say. I can't lose him to sadness before I think of something, though, so I snap myself out of it. "Do I look more like you remember without the mask and things?"

He considers me for a minute and then shakes his head. "No. You look more beautiful."

"And you're worried I might want to find someone else." It's easy to scoff and maybe this will be what he needs, even just a little bit. I think about the messy bun my red hair is twisted into and the circles that must be shadowing my eyes. "I was held captive, lived underground, and then moved here in winter. My skin is probably paler than it was the day I was born."

He shakes his head just a bit. "And you say that I say ridiculous things."

I brush a tuft of bronze hair off his forehead. "We should just accept each other and accept that we love each other. And talk about something else. Would you like me to read to you?"

Looking back out the window, he shakes his head once. "No. Let's talk about the future. Tell me where we'll be in ten years."

We used to do this all the time, trying to imagine our average and ordinary days without the specter of President Snow and the Hunger Games hanging over us. That he's gone back to this, that he's thinking about us in ten years makes my heart soar.

It's hard to think of how to say it since I don't know where his injuries will leave us. But then I realize his body doesn't matter. So I tell him how we'll be carefree and how we'll love each other. How we'll wake up together and stay in bed until we're ashamed of ourselves. I tell him how we'll spend as much time outside as possible, but I don't say just what we'll do. And I tell him how I'll fall asleep in his arms every night. "Do you think we'll have children?"

He coughs and looks at me in alarm. "Children?"

I purse my lips and nod. "Yes, you know - small humans?"

Blinking, he keeps his wide-eyed look fixed on me. "Do you want to have kids?"

I know I've just startled him. I know his lack of answer doesn't mean he doesn't want them. It was an out of the blue question, after all. "I do. Not right away, of course. I think that in ten years, we could maybe have a four year old. I'll be a few years over thirty then and four years old is about when kids start to be humans that you have to do more than just cuddle with."

His laugh makes me smile. "You've really thought this through."

I twitch my shoulders in shrug. "I suppose." Then I smile and wrap my hands around his. "Alright, I have. Even before you left District 13, I started thinking about it. I thought we'd need four or five years after the war to learn to live properly. We should probably take an extra year or two now, don't you think?"

He looks very serious when he nods. "Yes, absolutely. And you know what, Annie?" He lifts his hand and mine high enough that he can touch my face without my leaning down. "I do want to have children with you. How else will we be able to sit on the beach when we're old and gray, watching our grandchildren play in the water?"

I know in this moment that we will be okay. I don't need to plan anything to prove to him that he's it for me. I just need to be who I am and remind him who he is.

He sighs when I kiss his forehead again. "I feel like I'm about to fall asleep," he says softly, "but I don't want to because I always dream you won't be here when I wake up."

Rubbing my thumb over his temple, a method I used to use to help him sleep, I lean close and whisper my words to him. "I'll be here when you wake up. How will we have grandkids if I'm not here when you wake up?"

He smiles and lets himself sink back into the mattress and pillow. "You shouldn't stay the whole time, though. You need to shower and eat and sleep."

I can't help but laugh. "In that order? I need a shower most of all?"

He squeezes my hand and shakes his head. "No, not in that order. Just remember what Mags always said - that being clean is like starting the day over with new purpose."

That was honestly one of the strangest pieces of advice Mags ever gave us but she did say it, a lot. Finnick knows that as well as I do. But his mention of Mags gives me a way to distract him into going to sleep. I start talking about Mags. I miss her so bad and I know he misses her more than I do. Talking about her might make him sad, but I know he'll find comfort in her memory too. And I heard her talk him to sleep often enough that I know how to do it.

And it works.

He falls asleep in under five minutes.

I give it ten minutes before I slip away. The three things he said I should do are all things I want and need to do. And I need fresh air too. I've kept myself from spending all day in his room but I haven't been outside much at all. If I want to get all four things done before he wakes up again, I have to hurry.

Johanna volunteers to sit with him for awhile before I can finish asking her to do it. She disappears into the disinfecting room with a copy of a book called _Anne of Green Gables _in her hand and I know she wants to be alone in the quiet to read. I've been outside the room with her and I've seen her stare at books while glaring at the people in the room making noise. I leave her to it.

I get two cups of soup from the cafeteria and take them out into the courtyard of the hospital. Sexta sees me go so she'll tell anyone who asks where I am. I'm happy to see Pollux walking by the courtyard and I wave him to come sit with me. It takes a little coaxing but he takes one of my cups of soup. "How are you?" I ask. "Have you found anything of your brother's?"

He balances the soup on his knee and pulls a tattered envelope from the pocket of his coat and hands it to me, offering to hold my soup while I read it.

_Pollux, my brother -_

_If you're reading this, I'm dead. It wasn't how I wanted things to go but we both know it might end this way. But if I'm dead, I want you to know that I don't regret sacrificing so we could buy your freedom. I don't regret fleeing the Capitol and walking across Panem with you to get to District 13. I don't regret fighting in the rebellion. I don't regret anything. I hope you don't regret anything either._

_But I don't regret anything because you're my brother and what they did to you was the reason I had to live and to fight._

_We did good, Pollux._

_And I love you, brother._

I fold the note, put it back in the envelope, and put it back in his pocket. "I'm so happy you found that, Pollux. You have to live for him, and live well."

He nods solemnly and passes my soup back.

I remind him as we eat that he will always be my friend and that if he ever needs anything, he should find me. I don't know if he'll ever ask for anything but I just like having him for a friend. I think he likes me too. He does bump his shoulder against mine. I take that to be his answer.


	9. All Of This Has Happened Before

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Enjoy some more! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 9: All Of This Has Happened Before**

Life doesn't go smoothly.

It's one of the worst things about life.

Just when things look promising and even hopeful, the rug is ripped out from under you and everything collapses around you.

That happened the morning Finnick was moved from the Lavinia Bosch Medical Ministry to the Remus Rankin Rehabilitation Center. Everything was going really, really well. And then it wasn't going really, really well.

He had a seizure minutes after arriving at the RRRC and had to be sedated and intubated.

The cause was diagnosed as a flare up of the lizard blood infection at the base of his spine. The new doctor, a woman who tells me to call her Manning, tells me that unless they can get it under control quickly, the infection could spread and possibly kill him or he could end up fully paralyzed from the waist down. This is only a few days after I was told that the worst physical damage, damage that might not heal ever, was in his right arm and that most everything else would be able to rehabilitated into near normal use.

Haymitch wraps his arms around me as I sob into my hands. He doesn't tell me everything will be alright. He doesn't tell me that things will get better or that I have to have hope. He just holds me and lets me cry. He's been doing this for most of the twenty-three hours we've been waiting for something to happen.

I'm worried it means that he's as scared as I am. If he is as scared as I am, and I'm more scared than I am after they first told me that Finnick was dead back in District 13, then I have a reason to be this scared and I don't want to have a reason to be this scared.

I'm allowed to be in Finnick's room. Manning says I need to be calm if I'm in the room. I cannot calm down right now.

So Johanna's with him.

She's found some courage I am incredibly jealous of.

Haymitch accepts a cup from Mrs. Everdeen and nudges me until I raise my head enough that he can hold the cup to my lips and tip some of the liquid into my mouth. "That's a good girl," he says softly, patting my back with one hand while making me drink some more. "You need anything else? The bathroom? Actual food? Sleep? Ask for help, Annie. Please."

I shake my head and slump back against him. "Can I just stay right here? Please?"

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and sighs. "Course you can, honey."

Some time passes. I don't know how much. Haymitch's shirt has a strange purple striped pattern on it, one that doesn't seem like something he'd pick out at all, that's strangely mesmerizing, or maybe that's just because I want to be mesmerized so I don't have to be in this moment. But some time passes.

Time passes and then he passes me to Effie's arms. She hasn't stayed at the hospitals as much as the others, maybe because she doesn't know Finnick as well, but I miss her when she's not around. That she came now, after she was at the other hospital this morning only serves to terrify me that someone called her because of how bad things are.

"Haymitch?" I sort of croak when I'm fully aware that he's not holding me anymore.

"He needed a few comfort minutes," she whispers into my hair. When I repeat those two words - comfort minutes - in confusion, she explains with a sigh. "The bathroom. He needed to use the bathroom."

There's something a tiny bit funny about her reluctance to talk about Haymitch and the bathroom. It's a little bit distracting and I like it. "Did you pick out Haymitch's shirt?" I murmur, grateful for the sudden inspiration of something else to talk about.

"Yes. I'm surprised he's wearing it at all but I think he only brought three shirts from Twelve."

I realize I don't have any idea what I'm wearing. The last time I've become suddenly aware that I'm not aware of my clothes was in the first weeks after my Games, because the time I was a prisoner in the Capitol doesn't count. I don't like this.

I lurch to my feet and look myself over: black sweater and gray pants. It's not my medical assistant's uniform and it's not something I'd pick out for myself.

I stagger toward the window, knowing Effie follows me protectively, and try to figure out just what else I've missed.

This is what I know: Finnick's infection flared up and he may be paralyzed or killed by it, we're not at the place where I found him, someone named Manning told me I shouldn't or maybe couldn't be in Finnick's room while I was so upset.

This is what I don't know: I don't know how long we've been at this new hospital, I don't know how much time I've missed by being too upset to go in Finnick's room, I don't know if there's any change in him since the first things they told me - or at least what I think were the first things.

I spin and face Effie. "What day is it?"

"It's Thursday. Finnick was moved here thirty-six hours ago." She smiles gently and reaches out to touch my arm. "You haven't missed much time at all, Annie."

I force myself to breathe and to swallow. I haven't missed much time at all but that's not what's most important in all this. "But have I missed anything?"

There's no judgment in her eyes when she answers me. "Finnick has stabilized. They believe they have the infection under control and that they can keep it from spreading beyond where it is in his spine. He is still under sedation but they are hoping to bring him out of it sometime tomorrow." Even though it sounds like she practiced this, like they were waiting for me to come around and realize how far away I was, I'm glad she's the one saying it all to me. "They don't know if he'll be paralyzed, of course, but if the infection is kept under control or stopped they do believe he will recover."

I don't realize I'm crying until I feel the tears dripping off my chin. I don't try to stop because I know I won't be able to. "Who's with him? Johanna?"

She shakes her head. "No, Johanna went to get something to eat. Beetee is with him."

Beetee? I vaguely remember Manning saying that visitors weren't as limited here as they were at the other hospital so that must be why Beetee is with him. But for Beetee to be here… it's just another sign of how bad things must be. How bad things are.

I mash the heels of my hands into my eyes and exhale a shaky breath. "Can I go into his room?" I don't know if she has the authority to say but she's the one in front of me so she's the one I ask.

She considers me for a minute before she answers. "Wash your face, comb your hair, and promise me that you'll eat at least a bowl of soup when you leave his room."

It's not a question. It's not open for debate. Well, maybe it is. I don't take it that way. I accept those three conditions as the terms by which I can be in Finnick's room and I turn toward the door of the women's bathroom.

Haymitch leaves the men's bathroom just as I go in and I realize I'll be able to hear him if he says anything to her, so I lean against the wall by the door and concentrate on picking up quiet conversation.

"She doesn't deserve this," Effie hisses angrily, surprising me by speaking first. "All that they went through only to end up here, like this. This is wrong. And yes, Haymitch, I know it was _my_ Capitol that brought all this and that came before about. That I was a part of any of this will haunt me until the day I die."

If he says anything, I don't hear it.

But he must not say anything because Effie sort of growls. "Aren't you going to say anything, Haymitch? Aren't you going to tell me how I _loved_ the Capitol that did all this?"

"No. I'm not," he says in a low voice. "You seem to be doing a perfectly fine job of that all by yourself. Look, Effie, she doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this. Our kids don't deserve this. It's a shitload of shit all around. The only thing we can do is to throw our tantrums about the unfairness of it all when the kids aren't around and then pull ourselves together to make sure they stay as whole as possible. We're older and maybe that makes us stronger. Or stupider. Or more expendable. Either way, if we fall apart what the hell reason to we give the kids to keep it together?"

She doesn't say anything until she walks across the room, coming closer to him I can tell. "How can you be so calm, maybe steady is a better word, about all of this?"

He mutters what are probably expletives and sighs wearily. "Years of experience. And I don't mean this with any offense since you've now come around but while you were so fully in the mind of the glorious Capitol, I saw kids trying not to fall apart and I had to keep them together until they were dead. So I drank when they weren't around anymore. That was my tantrum. You need a way to throw a tantrum."

"Doesn't it get hard to stop the tantrums at some point?"

"Sure. Come here, Trinket." I hear the sounds their clothes make and then I hear him hug her, and I know that's what they're doing. "Of course it gets hard to stop the tantrums. But you're smarter than me. You'll pick a hobby that'll double as a tantrum that won't be quite so all-consuming as the one I picked."

She makes a noise of agreement. "Does Annie even really want me here, do you think?"

"Course she does. The girl called out for you when he had the first seizure. Not me, not Johanna, not Peeta, not Katniss. You. She was half out of her own mind but Mags told me once that what Annie says when she's the most upset is the honest truth of what she's thinking and feeling."

That he says "first" in terms of seizures is alarming because I only remember one. But that Mags told him that makes me feel a little better that I only remember one. She always said I didn't have to be present in every moment for the world to keep on working.

"What do we do for her if he dies?" Effie whispers, and I have to crack the door to hear it.

"Same as we will if he lives," he answers quickly, "we be there and be what she needs. She already told Peeta she wants to come to Twelve if he's not around and I think if he ever gets out of this damn hospital they should both come there. You come too. Help them."

I don't want to hear her say that she won't go to Twelve even though I desperately want her to say that she will. I turn the water on full blast in the sink to drown out the rest of the conversation and do what I promised to do. The girl looking back at me in the mirror looks more like a tired old woman. I'm sad that I've let Finnick see me like this. I have to be better about this.

I won't wear this black sweater tomorrow if they bring him around. I don't want to wear it now. "Effie?" I call out, banging against the door to announce my presence and stop their conversation. "Will you trade shirts with me?"

She steps into the bathroom and gives me her sky blue blouse without asking me why I want a different shirt and without telling me that Finnick won't be able to see me anyway. Maybe she, being a woman from the Capitol, knows better than anyone else I might talk to why something as simple as changing a shirt can change the course of a day.

I don't tell either of them what I overheard, and I'm happy I overheard it all, as I brush my hair into a bun and walk toward the room where I know Finnick is.

Beetee is still sitting in his wheelchair in the room. He's using a computer pad of some sort and I worry briefly that he's changing the machines Finnick's hooked up to but I glance over his shoulder and see some sort of game featuring cartoon animals on the screen.

"Hello, Annie," he says, looking up and around his glasses as they slide down his nose. He smiles when he sees me looking at the screen. "I brought this for you in case you were tired of books while you sit with him. Sit down, I'll show you how to play. I found it in the archives. It's something very old from the United States of America."

It's a game where you use your finger to shoot mean looking birds at pigs, is what it is. It's strange and a little bit silly but I catch on quickly and it's easier to be in the room with something to distract myself.

"You know, Annie," Beetee says in his slow, thoughtful way as I play, "I believe Finnick will pull through this latest hurdle. I don't have any facts to base that on. It's just my belief."

That Beetee is giving up facts in favor of beliefs is the first truly hopeful thing I've heard about my husband since we got to this hospital. "I believe it too. It's just hard to remember to believe it. And I'm worried about tomorrow, even if he pulls through." It's strange to confess this to Beetee, who I hardly know, but I don't feel any shame in it.

He's quiet and I think he's almost forgotten I said anything, but then he speaks. "Well, I will do everything I can to make your life and his life as comfortable and as normal as possible. If he's paralyzed and needs a wheelchair, I'll make him the best possible one. If he's got limited movement in his arms or legs, I'll make something to help him go about his day as normally as possible."

It's the greatest gift Beetee can give and I thank him for it with tears in my eyes. He looks away, nodding in acceptance, and I go back to the game he gave me.


	10. Listen to the Stories

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Enjoy some more! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 10: Listen to the Stories**

Katniss punches my arm, waking me up from a fitful sleep in the uncomfortable chair beside Finnick's bed. "He's waking up. And saying your name."

"Annie!"

He's not so much saying my name as he is screaming my name but I would've heard that if he'd screamed before so this is new. I blink and lurch forward, grabbing his left hand and touching his face at the same time. "Shh, shh. I'm here, Finn. I'm right here."

His eyes focus on me and he exhales slowly. "Are you hurt?"

I shake my head. "No, no. I'm not hurt. We're safe now. Were you dreaming?"

Nodding, he squeezes my hand. "I was… stuck in a cup? A glass, maybe? I couldn't get out to get to you. You needed me. I think. And I couldn't get to you."

Stuck in a cup? I don't understand what he's saying at all and I wish that I hadn't asked if he was dreaming.

"You're not in the hyperbaric chamber anymore, Finnick," Katniss says in a calm and firm tone. "That's the glass you were stuck in. You're not in it now. You can get to Annie and of course she needs you. Don't be stupid and worry that she doesn't."

He blinks, looking down at his body, at me, and then at her. "Katniss."

She smiles a little. "Hi. Sorry I didn't visit you at the other hospital but I'm a little, you know, mentally unstable."

He smiles too, and I'm grateful for that. "Other hospital?" he says slowly. "I was moved, wasn't I?"

She answers, since he's still looking at her. "Yeah. You got much better so they moved you here and then you got much worse for a little while. They kept you knocked out for a few days, which probably explains the dreams, and then they brought you out of it. You've mostly been sleeping for a few days. It's been a week or so, all around."

My hand is starting to ache from how hard he's squeezing me but I don't say anything. I just watch him. "It's true. You had seizures when you got here. The infection came back a little. They… we… I…"

"Everybody was very worried," Katniss picks up, still standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed. "Annie, especially. And we were worried about her, but we took good care of her for you."

He turns to me. "Am I going to be okay?"

"Mm-hmm. The doctor says the infection is contained and won't spread now. It could flare up again, but they know better how to treat it." I swallow a lump in my throat and try to be strong for him. "It's the same as before, really. You might not get all of you physical ability back but you'll be alive. That's enough, isn't it?"

He closes his eyes and nods. "So long as it's enough for you," he whispers.

I lean down and kiss him to make him focus on me. "It will always be enough for me but it has to be enough for you too. We get to live, free of the games and free from fear. We get to be whoever we want to be. Isn't that enough?"

With tears in his eyes, he whispers an apology.

"Don't cry and don't apologize," Katniss says, leaning forward to stick a thin bit of rope between my hand and Finnick's. "I looked it up, there are one-handed knots. Make them. And look on the bright side of all this."

He looks at her like she's grown a second head. "And what's the bright side?"

She fights a smirk as she answers. "Beetee said that if you're paralyzed or have limited movement he'll make you a wheelchair or some sort of contraption to help you. That's the bright side."

I almost cry when he laughs. Everyone knows that Beetee can, and probably would, get a little ahead of himself making things for people he cares about. He had Peeta test a new prosthetic leg the other day, just before we came to this hospital, and he had to go back to the drawing board after the leg walked on it's own before Peeta even put it on.

Katniss smiles and takes a step backward toward the door. "I'll give you two some time alone. Who do you want to come in next, Annie?"

"Johanna or Haymitch."

She nods and takes another step backward, promising to make either of them wait a few minutes. "Knots, Finnick," she says as she opens the door. "Make knots. Do you know why?"

He shakes his head just a little. "Why, Katniss?"

"Because someone wise told me once that it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart. Your body is in pieces so you've already got your work cut out for you. Don't let your mind follow your body."

He swallows hard and nods, promising to follow her wise advice.

I know he told her that because I know Mags told him that because he told me that Mags told him to tell me that. It really is a true way of thinking about life.

We're alone for a few minutes but we don't talk. We don't have to talk. I just want to sit with him and he seems happy enough to just stare at me. I realize as I sit there that I'm not absolutely sure how to talk to him now that we're free. The short time we had together in District Thirteen was different because we still weren't free. There weren't games and we weren't under scrutiny in District Four but it wasn't freedom. I told Finnick at the other hospital that he didn't have to worry about me wanting to find someone other than him to love.

But what if he wants to find someone other than me?

I'm on the very verge of a panic attack when Johanna comes into the room with a flourish. "Brainless said I should hurry because you two looked on the verge of losing it."

I know that Katniss said no such thing. Katniss would never say that. Maybe we are on the verge of losing it, but she wouldn't say that. Johanna would say it, and I know the words are all hers.

Finnick gives me a searching look and then flicks the rope Katniss put in his hand. I know what he means so I lean forward to help him make one-handed knots. "What book is that, Johanna?" he asks.

"_Peter Pan_. I managed to miss you two reading more of it." She drops into a chair in the corner of the room and runs her fingers through her spiky hair. "I'll just sit quietly and catch up while you two make knots and try not to lose your minds."

"Read out loud?" I say it but I surprise myself, Finnick, and Johanna by saying it. She agrees, though, and picks up from the spot she last read with us.

She reads for an hour, slowly but clearly, and then sticks a scrap of paper between the pages. Standing, she stretches like a cat and crosses the room to lean close to Finnick. I pretend like I can't hear her ask if her reading is getting better and I pretend like I can't hear him say that he's proud of her. I just keep moving his fingers to make the knots.

Once she goes back to her chair, things fall to an awkward sort of silence. Then I remember how Johanna called me scatterbrain again this morning and I decide to get her back, in front of Finnick. "Finnick? I think Johanna's in love."

She splutters and he looks at me with wide, unbelieving eyes.

I make myself look innocent and twitch my shoulders in a shrug. "Well, I do."

"With who?"

"I am not!"

They speak at the same time and it makes me giggle. I compose myself as best I can, which isn't very much, and respond to him first - but her at the same time. "Gale Hawthorne. She goes to lunch and dinner with him all the time. One day Katniss asked why she smelled like soap, since she's still afraid of water, and she refused to say why but Gale was there and he blushed beet red. Don't you think that means they might be at least falling in love?"

He turns slowly and looks at her. "Yeah, I do think she's falling in love. Johanna? What's going on?"

She lets the book fall to floor with a thud and leans forward, almost putting her head between her knees. "I don't know," she moans, the sound muffled by the fact that she's staring at the floor. "I mean, I can't be falling in love, can I?"

"Talk it through. Tell me what you're thinking."

I half listen as she tells him how she ended up taking a bath with Gale-he'd offered to help her if she ever needed it and _that's_ what she came up with, of course, and how she started having meals with him-Katniss and Peeta weird her out, apparently, and she needed a break. I pay closer attention when she describes the warm feeling, and how she almost cried, when someone on the street called her a child-killing whore for being a mentor and he got into a fistfight with the guy to defend her.

She's in love with him.

He doesn't say that outright. "Don't try to define it, Jo," he says instead. "But don't question it. Just let yourself go with it. Like I told you I did, do with Annie."

"At least you said _do_," I interrupt, "because I know you still question this sometimes."

His green eyes are on my so fast I sort of jump. "You don't? You don't ever question any of this?"

Remembering my recent near panic attack, I sigh in defeat. "All the time."

"Well that's helpful," Johanna mutters. "Thank you both very much for very little."

"Jo, stop." He winks at me when the firmness in his voice makes her sit up straight. "Annie and I love every minute we have together. It's natural to wonder if it's too good to be true or if it's real. That's not a reason to run away from it. So don't do that, alright?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yes, boss."

Smirking, he shakes his head. "Is Gale here now? Can you get him? I know he tried to save me in the sewer and I want to thank him."

I gape at him when she leaves to do that. Dr. Aurelius has been talking to him about what happened and what he remembers when I'm not there, after one disastrous attempt at having him talk with me around - he was too afraid of hurting me. I tried to say it was ridiculous but it was better that I just left. "You remember the sewers?"

"Some. Bits and pieces." He rolls his shoulders and shakes his head. "I remember Gale went up the ladder before me. He was closer to it but he tried to hang back and make me go first. I was too far away to get there and we both would have… died. If he hadn't gone up."

I bite my lip uncertainly. I don't want to say the wrong thing, that I wish he'd just have gone in front of Gale, especially since he tried to get him to go first. That's a horrible thing to say, about Gale and to Finnick. So I change the subject, even though avoidance is never good - but I can talk to Dr. Aurelius about it later. "Are you going to talk to Gale about whether or not he's in love with Johanna?"

"Not while she's in the room."

I clap my hand over my mouth, a little unable to believe that he's going to confront Gale about it. It's not really what I meant to happen when I got back at her. On the other hand, she needs somebody to look out for her and she doesn't really have many people to do that. So I support him fully in confronting Gale and I'm glad I brought it up. Although helping her with something doesn't exactly get back at her for the scatterbrain name. I'll have to join forces with Katniss on that.

Gale comes in a minute later, alone, and says that Johanna didn't know if the two visitor rule was still in effect so she just stayed outside. He tries to brush off Finnick's thanks, saying that the real way to thank him would've been to go up the ladder first.

That's what Finnick brushes off. And then he cuts to the heart of the matter. "Don't hurt Johanna."

Gale blinks in surprise, and apparently she didn't tell him what we'd been talking about - I'm surprised at that. "What? Why would I hurt Johanna?"

"She's been hurt a lot. She needs somebody to care for her and to know that she's not going to be the easiest person to care for."

He chews his bottom lip and shakes his head. "I do care for her. I don't know how, exactly, but I'd never want her to be hurt. She deserves better than that, so much better."

Finnick and I exchange a knowing look. "Yeah, she does," he tells him. "You do too, Hawthorne. So I'll tell you what I told her - don't run away in fear just because it seems too good to be true. You'll hurt her and you'll hurt yourself. You both deserve more than that."

Gale seems to accept that, promising to try to accept the things that are more easily.

And then Finnick seems suddenly worn out by his matchmaking and closes his eyes. Gale doesn't leave right away, he stays and asks me if I know how Johanna feels about him. She'll be okay with him.


	11. She Seemed Satisfied

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_Enjoy some more! (And leave a review to tell me if you do!)_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 11: She Seemed Satisfied**

By the time Manning, Dr. Bosch, Sexta, and Dr. Aurelius announce that Finnick's ready to leave the hospital three weeks later, spring is breaking over the Capitol. I've gone outside sometimes, mostly to buy the things I think we'll need in District Twelve, but outside is outside.

We are going home with Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss.

District Twelve is a place where Finnick can learn to be someone in his changed body. He won't have to stare at the ocean and think of all the things he can't do. He'll be able to adapt to a new environment and make the best of it, rather than be haunted by ghosts of what was and what can never be again.

I thought of those things and I took them to Dr. Aurelius. He agreed with me completely, and told me he was proud of how well I'm taking care of my husband. I didn't know the man five months ago and him being proud of me makes me happy… it's a strange thing.

We're not the only ones going to District Twelve. Effie is coming, just like she told Haymitch she would, and so is Pollux. In fact, Finnick and I are entitled to a Victor's Village house in the district of our choosing so we've been assigned one there and it's been arranged that Effie and Pollux will stay with us. I'm glad Effie's staying with us and Pollux seems to have a calming effect on Finnick when he gets too upset - which is something they tell me is a side effect of the fevers that the infection caused.

Johanna's coming for a little while too. I think she'll stay longer if Gale decides to move home with his family. He's still skittish around Katniss right now, though, even though everyone else can see that Peeta is trying hard to get them to rekindle their friendship.

Sexta and Manning are coming as well, having volunteered to set up the medical clinic for District Twelve with Mrs. Everdeen. Between the three of them, Finnick's medical needs will be taken care of and they will put together a physical therapy regimen for him. The flare up of the infection didn't paralyze him but it's still going to be a long road before he can walk very far at all and longer before he might be able to walk on his own again.

But he's strong enough now to sit up in a wheelchair.

Pollux pokes me with the eraser end of a pencil and hands me a notepad. _Everything is on the train except for the people. Are you ready to go?_

We're taking the train to Twelve because they're worried the air pressure in a hovercraft could be bad for Finnick, make his infection flare up or cause a seizure. And we're in the train station now, hidden in a small room where any members of the public can't see us. I nod and take a deep breath, gripping the handles of Finnick's chair.

Ducking to stand beside me, Pollux holds out the paper again. _Give it sixty seconds. Katniss and Peeta are leaving their room first to distract the people here. We can sneak by with Finnick._

I didn't know they were going to do that but I'm grateful enough for it that I almost burst into tears. That'd be counterproductive, though, so I don't. I just grip the handles tighter and leave the room when sixty seconds have passed. Gale's waiting by the train door and he helps Pollux lift the wheelchair up and into the cool, cavelike train car that's reserved just for the people going to Twelve. I don't know if there are civilians on the train and I think I'd rather not know.

I let them lock the wheels in place in a spot where Finnick can look out the window and I go to the opposite window and watch Katniss and Peeta finish making their way through the suddenly arrived throng of people. I'm not sure which of them looks more nervous but they're holding hands. It's good for them and maybe it'll be good enough for Plutarch and the other people who'll want them to have a public life - at least for a little while.

I meet them at the door and hug them both. "You didn't have to do that."

"But we did it," Katniss says in a shaky voice as the doors slide shut behind her. "It's done now and I didn't them to get pictures of him. Not like this."

I hug her again and then let Haymitch and her mother take the two of them to a couch on the other side of the car. Finnick looks pale but he's awake and watching me as I cross to him. "Elephant shoes," he murmurs when I get to him.

I say it back as Pollux pokes me, no note in sight but total confusion on his face.

Leaning so I'm facing him directly, I say the two words clearly. And I smile when he nods in understanding. I knew he'd understand, given his Avox nature.

"No, no, no," Johanna splutters. "What the hell?"

I do it again for her. "What does it look like I'm saying?"

She's obviously a little lost so Finnick breaks it down for her. "Your mouth does the same thing when you say _elephant shoes_ as it does when you say I love you. Mags showed us. It's what we'd do any time we were in public and not supposed to be in love."

Pollux gives his approval with a thumbs up and she looks at us like we're crazy.

"Try it," I tell her. "Say elephant shoes quietly but clearly right here, facing Gale over there. See what he thinks you're saying."

"Annie!"

I shush Finnick's outburst and encourage Johanna to do it. And she does.

Gale's mouth drops open. He waits until Katniss isn't looking in his direction and then crosses the train car in two steps. "What did you just say to me?"

Her brown eyes go wide and she leans back in her chair. "What do you think I just said to you?"

He crosses his arms over his chest and fidgets. "That you love me."

She shakes her head almost violently. "No. No, no, no. I said elephant shoes. Elephant shoes. That's what I said. Annie told me to. Say it. Say elephant shoes. To you."

Gale looks at me but he doesn't say anything, only shakes his head and walks back to his chair.

"He looks disappointed," I blurt out as Johanna punches me in the arm. "He wishes you said you loved him. Look at him."

Spluttering a bunch of nonsense words, she stalks into the bathroom.

Finnick looks at me with wide, unbelieving eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Annie Cresta?"

Faltering briefly, I keep myself together. "I'm Annie Odair. She seems much bolder than Annie Cresta ever was. I hope you love her as much."

He smiles and motions me closer with his hand. "I love her very, very much. More than you probably know. I think Annie Odair is who I always hoped Annie Cresta could be."

My heart's beating faster than usual but it's not nerves this time, or fear. It's happiness. "So you're happy, Mr. Odair?"

Looking at me long and intently, he leans forward so his lips are against my ear. "What's beyond happy? That's what I am, Mrs. Odair."

A gagging sound breaks us apart and Johanna slumps back into her seat beside us. "I don't know if he's ready for sex, Annie," she mutters. "Elephant shoes. I can't believe you did that to me."

"I can't believe you went along and did it," I tell her with a shrug. I think I've finally managed to get back at her a little bit and it feels very, very good. "You really have no one to blame but yourself."

Looking to Finnick for help, she gets none when he gestures toward Gale. "Say it again, Jo. See if he believes it a second time. Although I don't think he believed it the first time. I think he wanted to hear you say you loved him and that's why it bothered him so much."

Scowling, she digs a bit of wood from the deep pocket on the leg of her pants and finds a small knife in a different pocket. Wood shavings begin to fall like snowflakes into a neat pile on her lap with an almost frightening speed. "If it bothered him, why would I say it again?"

"What bothers us most are the things we want but don't yet have," he tells her. "Remember how you were so put off by the idea of friendship before you met me? You were just scared to let yourself have it no matter how badly you wanted it, so you treated me bad for a while and then you realized I wasn't going anywhere. Gale's scared to let himself think you might not have said elephant shoes no matter how badly he wants you to have said something besides elephant shoes. But he'll let you be telling the truth because he cares for you."

She's quiet for an unusually long time as she transforms the wood from a shapeless chunk into something intricate and beautiful. "So what? I should just keep saying elephant shoes whenever he can see me but not hear me?"

I answer before Finnick does. "Why not? If that's the easiest way for you, now that you know it really does look like something else - something you mean to say, why not do that?" I take her continued silence as her seeing the point of what I'm saying. "What are you making?"

She drops the carved wood into the palm of my hand and carefully brush herself off, leaning to the side to drop the shavings into a waste basket. "It's a pinecone."

I've never seen a pinecone. The one she put in my hand is fascinating. The detail on all the little petal type things and the fact that she could carve around them without breaking them off is impressive. "It's beautiful, Johanna," I tell her, hoping she can hear the change to honest praise in my voice. "What are you going to do with it?"

She shrugs and slumps back in the chair. "I don't know. You can keep it. If you really want to."

She doesn't think I'll want to keep it, but I do. So I lean away from her with it and show it to Finnick. And then later, after she's fallen asleep across the aisle from us, we work together and use a very thin rope I bought in the Capitol to make a District Four style pinecone based on what she gave me. It turns out bigger, of course, and slightly lopsided but the rope is woven together tightly and it will hold its shape. Rope sculptures are hard but I knew we could do it.

Johanna squeals in the most un-Johanna like of manners when we present it to her after she wakes up. "Are you freaking kidding me? You two made this?"

I lean against Finnick, a little alarmed by her outburst, and I notice everyone else is watching us.

"Not kidding, Jo," he says for us. "Do you like it?"

She turns it around in her hands, feeling the ropes and the petal like things carefully. "I love it. Can I keep it?"

Finnick rolls his eyes. "No. We made it for Haymitch. Give it to him."

She sort of hisses and fingers the rope pinecone carefully.

"Where are you staying in District Twelve?" he asks her. "While you're there, I mean?"

"With you." She gets up and walks to the other end of the car, clearly done with our meddling in her life in general and her life in love.

It's alright with me. I want time alone, as alone as we can be in a train car full of people, with Finnick. I lean my head on his shoulder and link my fingers through his. "You're absolutely sure about going to Twelve instead of Four? I'm sure we can still change our minds."

He raises his other hand, slowly and with great effort because it's the more damaged hand, and lets it rest on my shoulder. "I am absolutely sure," he whispers into my hair. "It will be a fresh start and that's what we need. No ghosts, no limitations… beyond the obvious, and a place we've never been together. Don't you want to go to Twelve?"

"I do." No one is paying any attention to us so I say things I might not otherwise say. "I feel like these people, the ones who will be in Twelve are our family. Not just our friends."

"I do too. Do you think Mags would say we belong in Twelve?"

I nod, pretty sure he can feel the movement of my head against his chest. "She would. She told us to go to Haymitch when she was gone, remember." It occurs to me then that I've never asked him, not even in District 13, about the day Mags died. It seemed too hard then and now I'm not even sure he remembers it. Now isn't the time to ask. I'll talk to Dr. Aurelius about it when we're settled. All that matters now is that he does know she's dead. So I say something else instead. "When we have a daughter, we can name her after Mags, can't we?"

He hums and I feel it in his chest. "I wouldn't name my daughter anything else. At least not my first daughter."

"I think we need three daughters," I sigh. "So we can name them after Mags, Johanna, and Katniss."

"What about boys?" He shakes his head when I try to make him name our boys. "Promise me that you will never suggest naming our son Finnick." When I do, he says that Jack – a generic name for an ordinary sailor - would be his choice if a son were named after him and then he tells me I have to figure out how to name sons after Peeta and Haymitch.

We're going to have a lot of children one day. The thought makes me smile.


	12. Never Grow Up

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own a word of this. All of it is just borrowed and put back where I found it. No money is being made but fun is being had. That's the point, right?_

**Note: **_And this is the end. I hope you enjoyed it!_

_All the best to you this holiday season!_

* * *

><p><strong>ALWAYS BE WAITING<strong>

**Chapter 12: Never Grow Up**

Dr. Aurelius told me that it would be best for both me and Finnick if I found a job in District 12. I was startled at first, because I want to give Finnick whatever he needs, but his logic that I can be his wife and companion and helper best if I'm not hovering every minute and obsessively focusing on his every ailment. He said I needed to remove myself a little bit, and trust others to help, in part so that if Finnick is in pain or doesn't feel well he won't feel compelled to hide it from me. At least not all the time.

When I finally admitted he was right, about a week ago, I found myself as a District 12 seamstress almost before I could blink. And it happened accidentally. Posy Hawthorne and two of her friends where playing on a pile of rocks – the danger of which made Peeta and Katniss order the things needed to build a playground – tore their clothes. Hazelle was busy washing and the other girls didn't want to tell their guardians so, since I was sitting nearby, they asked me.

I only wondered when I was done if I should have made them tell their parents, although Katniss told me one of the girls is an orphan who lives with a very elderly grandmother. But when I heard a knock on the door the next morning and Effie answered it, telling me I had "clients", I found myself face to face with Posy and three little boys – all the boys had clothes in need of repair.

Nervous that I was doing something the parents might not want, I asked Hazelle to ask if anyone minded that I help the kids.

Hazelle drops a burlap sack filled to bursting with clothes on the floor of my living room. "I asked around," she says, barely hiding a smile. "No one minds if you stitch up clothes for the kids. In fact, it seems like anyone who heard me ask or that I was asking has something that needs mended. Are you willing to sew for anyone?"

I look at Finnick, who seems very content in a rocking chair by the window where the late spring sun is making a warm spot. He grins and shrugs. "Well, yes," I stammer out. "I can do that. But isn't there someone else who does that?"

She shakes her head. "The Town seamstress died in the firebombing and the Seam seamstress is still in District Thirteen with the army. I do laundry. I can't sew."

"We could have a partnership," I blurt out, clapping my hand over my mouth because I'm sure she wouldn't want that. She shakes her head, though, and motions for me to keep talking. "Well, I just mean, I suppose, that you could wash and I could sew anything in the wash that needs mended."

Smiling, she holds out her thin hand. "You've got yourself a partner."

Sewing clothes shouldn't logically make a person so happy but I am thrilled as I shake her hand.

"You know," Effie offers from the kitchen doorway, "clothing is being collected in various places and sent here so the original people from Twelve aren't forever stuck in those drab grays from Thirteen. If you were interested, Annie, I'm sure some of it needs sprucing up and I'm sure some of the things could be altered into other things. The girl told me about this… the one who squeaks and never really stops talking?"

Hazelle stifles a laugh. "Delly Cartwright. Yes, she's got a job sorting through the supplies that are sent here so she would know that."

"She's the blonde girl?" Finnick asks as Katniss comes in the front door, he apparently knows I will agree to this. When Hazelle says that she is, he smiles. "She and Pollux were kissing this morning."

"Delly and Pollux?" Katniss gasps. "I thought I saw that when I was making tea but I thought it fell under the Not Real part of things. I couldn't believe it. She can't stop talking and he can't talk."

"Well, believe it. He was supposed to be helping me with some new exercise so I saw it. Not that I realized how little I minded not doing it," he adds, winking at me before I can get upset about Pollux shirking his duties, "considering how much it hurt while I was doing it."

"No pain, no gain, Odair," Katniss tells him before I can think of a response even remotely as good as hers. "I went to the lake this morning and caught you some fish. It won't be what you're used to but it's good. I promise."

I was wondering what the smell was and now that she holds up a string of four silvery fish, I know. "Do you clean this fish the same way?"

She shrugs and carries them to the kitchen, laughing as Effie darts out of the way. I follow her, leaving Finnick in Effie and Hazelle's capable hands. "I don't know how you clean your fish," she says, "but I can clean these for you and show you how my father taught me to cook them."

I learn best by doing so I take one of the fish and a filet knife and copy every movement she makes.

"I was going to clean them at my house but Peeta was there and I didn't think it was the best idea for me to hold a knife around him." She glances at me, as if waiting for me to say she's right or wrong. "He hasn't had any flashbacks that I've seen."

I knew Katniss went into the woods earlier and I knew Gale went with her – and a part of me wants to ask if they've started to repair their friendship. I also know that Haymitch missed having lunch with us because Peeta had a flashback caused by worry of Katniss' safety in the woods. But that's for Haymitch to tell her. "Are the two of you living together?" I ask instead.

Her eyes go wide but they stay focused on the fish on the table. "No. Not according to the records the Capitol has. He has his house and I have mine."

I keep my eyes focused on my own fish. "That's not what I asked, Katniss."

She chews the inside of her cheek and leans close to me. "Don't tell Haymitch, okay? Or Dr. Aurelius?"

"You're sleeping together." I say it with confidence because it is the only thing that makes sense. There is no other time of day when they are the most vulnerable so there is no other time of day when Haymitch and Dr. Aurelius should be kept in the dark. I'd bet Haymitch knows, though.

"Not sex!" she sort of shouts and sort of squeaks, blushing a furious shade of red before dropping her voice to a whisper again. "Just sleeping. We have worse nightmares if we can't wake up and see each other. He won't have a flashback in his sleep. I know that."

I don't know how she knows that but I'll take her word for it. "I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong, Katniss," I whisper back. "You're not wrong. In fact, I think the best possible thing for you and Peeta is to do just what you're doing. Make your own decisions, follow your heart. It won't lead you wrong."

She finally looks at me and smiles. "Thanks, Annie."

We don't talk much after that, concentrating instead on the fish. When she explains that she only ever ate them by a small fire near the lake and isn't actually sure how to do it on a stove or in an oven, I suggest we try and make fish stew. We settle on that quickly and she goes to collect some wild vegetables from the area just beyond the fence while I sort through the pantry in search of things we could use for it too.

While we work, Effie tells me she's going to have dinner with Haymitch and that Pollux is out with Delly – which makes Katniss laugh. Hazelle's gone home to her family, and Katniss tells me Gale took fish home too.

"Go get Peeta," I tell Katniss impulsively. "Come back for dinner. It'll be a double date."

Finnick grins at me when I come to help him to the table in the kitchen. "Are you playing at being a matchmaker again, Mrs. Odair?"

I smirk and help him stand – he can stand and walk short distances with someone to lean on, at least he wants to be able to do it although his wheelchair would probably be better. "No. I'm merely making sure they see what's right in front of them."

He grips my arm and waits a few seconds before he takes one shuffling, unsteady step forward. "Really? That's all you're doing?"

Idly hoping Peeta will bring some bread, I let him move at his own pace, probably not so subtly pulling the wheelchair along with my foot just in case. "Yes, it's all I'm doing. It's what Mags did for us so why shouldn't we pay it forward? And you're the one who did the elephant shoes thing with Johanna and Gale."

"Touche." He waits until we've made it to the kitchen and I've settled him in his chair to say anything else. "By the way, do I get credit for not laughing when she yelled that thing about not having sex?"

I roll my eyes as I move around the kitchen to set the table with bowls, cups, and silverware. "No. No credit for not laughing until you make it through supper without laughing. Or even snickering."

He makes himself look offended that I'd suggest otherwise. "I would not do that to Katniss, Annie. How could you even think such a thing of me?"

"Oh shut up," I mutter as I fill the glasses on the table with water.

"That's not a very nice thing to say, Annie," Peeta says as he and Katniss arrive.

I shake my head. "He deserved it. I promise."

He smiles and hands me a warm loaf of bread wrapped in a cloth. "I knew Katniss was getting you fish so I made you some salt rising bread."

"Oh, that'll be perfect with the fish stew. Thank you." I kiss his cheek and point to the chair across from Finnick. "And thank you for coming to supper. Katniss and I mostly threw a lot of things in a pot but that's how we did most things in Four. I hope it's good."

"I'm sure it will be. It's how we did things here too."

It's easy to see that he's exhausted by his flashback but he hides it well, especially when he knows Katniss is looking at him. I fill the bowls with stew while Peeta cuts the bread and passes it out.

"We should make a toast," Katniss says, glancing at Peeta, "like Effie taught us for the Victory Tour."

He laughs and shakes his head. "Go ahead. Although I thought you hated the things she made us say."

"I did. It doesn't mean it's not what we should do." She seems very nervous as she raises her glass. Taking a deep breath, with the water only shaking a little in the glass, she looks around the table. "I didn't dare dream that there could be a day without the Hunger Games. I didn't dare dream that I'd survive the Hunger Games. I didn't dare dream that the rebellion would succeed. I didn't dare dream I'd get Peeta back. I didn't dare dream that Finnick might have survived.

"I never knew I could have friends who understand me, who accept every fault I have, who love me in spite of the fact that I can't always figure out to love myself. I didn't know anyone could ever love me like Peeta does.

"The things I didn't dream came true. I've got the things I never knew I could have.

"I wouldn't trade this for anything. So," she takes a deep breath and touches her glasses to each of ours, "here's to new beginnings, to new discoveries, to new worlds, and to new friendships I can't live without."

Peeta's crying as he watches her. I'm crying as I watch Finnick.

Finnick's eyes are wet as he slowly raises his glass to her. "And they said you couldn't be the voice of the rebellion."

She smiles wetly, blushing before she gets up and comes around the table to hug him. Peeta and I aren't far behind and I have never felt more secure than I do when the four of us are embracing each other.

Things are going to be okay.

I know this now.

With absolute certainty.

**The end**


End file.
